The purpose of this site is for information and a record of Gerry McCann's Blog Archives. As most people will appreciate GM deleted all past blogs from the official website. Hopefully this Archive will be helpful to anyone who is interested in Justice for Madeleine Beth McCann. Many Thanks, Pamalam

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Kate's Interviews *

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A detailed look at Kate's interviews showing how she reacts to questions that probe the events surrounding Madeleine's disappearance.
 
Also, Kate's first interview without Gerry published in the Independent on 08 August 2007 and Kate's interview with Women's Own magazine published 13 August 2007.

Kate McCann

It should be noted that what follows here is a personal viewpoint based on a study of Kate's interviews. It should not be regarded as an authoritative text and readers are invited to form their own opinions based on the points contained herein.

Kate's displacement from the events of Madeleine's disappearance
First of all, it should be noted that transcribing what Kate actually says in her interviews is surprisingly difficult. Through observation of her talking on videos, she appears calm, articulate and in control.
 
However, when you begin to transcribe what she has actually said, it quickly becomes apparent how she intersperses her words with lots of pauses, 'errms', nervous giggles/laughs, half constructed words and noises - which may be the start of unfinished words or just pausing sounds. The tempo of her speach is also erratic and she alternates between short bursts of extremely fast speech, when she feels under pressure, and long, drawn out passages that are slow and almost become a drawl.
 
Although she presents a calm and controlled exterior to the world, her erratic and confusing spoken word would appear to suggest that she conceals different emotions beneath her placid surface.
 
The first interview with Jane Hill from the BBC - 25 May 2007
 
This interview is interesting as it is the first interview given by the McCanns after the disappearance of Madeleine. They had previously only given short, scripted statements.
 
Perhaps the most revealing question in the interview is this one:
 
Jane Hill: "I met people who didn't go to work for more than a week because everyday they were down on the beach, searching the streets. Did you, as a mother Kate, just sometimes think 'I've got to go and be out there with them. I want to go and just physically look as well."

Kate: (Pause) I mean, I did. Errm... (Long Pause) Errm, we'd been working really hard really. Apart... I mean, the first 48 hours, as Gerry said, are incredibly difficult and we were almost non-functioning, I'd say, errm, but after that you get strength from somewhere. We've certainly had loads of support and that's given us strength and its been able to make us focus really so we have actually, in our own way, it might not be physically searching but we've been working really hard and doing absolutely everything we can, really, to get Madeleine back."

What is significant in Kate's answer here? 

Four things: Kate's displacement from the event, her inability to express what 'she' actually felt, an apparent, almost desperate, desire to promote a 'united' front and a reluctance to commit an answer to the question.

It is significant that she says "the first 48 hours, as Gerry said, are incredibly difficult". Her use of the word 'are' instead of 'were' is very revealing. It's as though she's quoting something that she has been advised by a counsellor. 'The first 48 hours are the most difficult'. What she has done here is displaced herself from the scene and is reporting on it, not from it.

It is also revealing how she uses the word 'you' and, again, shows her displacement. She says: "after that you get strength from somewhere". Why is she using 'you' in this sentence? The interviewer has asked her for her personal feelings. Why doesn't she say 'I got strength...' or 'we got strength...' Again, she is placing herself outside the event, looking in.

She uses the word 'we' six times in this brief quote because it would appear she's struggling to answer it, without revealing that she has never actually searched for her missing daughter. Use of the word 'we' and also 'us', which is mentioned twice along with Gerry's name, suggests she's trying to hide under a 'united' front. This suggests she feels vulnerable and needs the support and leadership from Gerry to continue. The overall impression given is that they are not individuals, with their own feelings, but a team who will not be diverted from the path they have chosen.
 
She also mentions the word 'really' three times, which could be interpreted as a conscious, or subconscious, desire to convince the interviewer, and those watching, that she 'really' is telling the truth. 

It would appear from this passage that she's telling us, in a displaced way, how she thinks 'they' should feel, not how 'she' herself really did feel. Why? Is it because she is nervous in her first interview or could it be because she doesn't know how someone who has had their daughter abducted really feels?
 
Ultimately, Kate's answer, despite being wrapped in curious passages where she feels compelled to mention the support they've received, is quite shocking. The fact is, despite locals giving up work for a week to search the beach and streets for Madeleine, she has admitted that she never actually did any physical searching for her missing daughter.
 
The only other question directed to Kate, specific to the disappearance was this one:
 
Jane Hill: 'And then on that Thursday night, Kate, when you realised that she wasn't in her bed where you left her. Did you think even momentarily perhaps that she'd just woken up, wandered off of her own accord, perhaps?'
 
Kate: 'Not at all, no'  (There is then a pause, where Jane Hill may well have expected Kate to elucidate the reasoning behind her bold answer but Kate doesn't say anymore - after an embarrassingly long pause Gerry takes over and answers the question)
 
 
Kate's interview with Women's Hour - 08 August 2007
 
Jenny: 'There has been a lot of speculation as well though that the police have treated you and your husband as suspects. How do you handle that kind of very personal speculation?'
 
Kate: 'I mean, I think you just gotta think to yourself... I mean, you need the investigation to be thorough and, errm, you know, we'd welcome that really, errm, you know... you know, we've got a very good working relationship with the Portuguese police and, errr, we've come a long way since the beginning of the investigation. And I mean, the police were very open at the beginning saying everybody is a suspect and I think that's often the case in, in many crimes as well'
 
As is common in Kate's answers, she often uses the word 'you' when she has been asked for her own opinions. This would suggest she is placing herself outside the event. And yet again, when she feels vulnerable, she resorts to frequent use of the word 'we' to remind us that she is part of a 'united' team.
 
By placing emphasis on the fact that 'we've come a long way since the beginning of the investigation' it could appear that the most important aspect of the case, for Kate, is the investigation, not the recovery of her daughter.
 
Jenny: 'Was she sleeping when you left her?'
 
Kate: (Long pause) 'Errm, yes, she was, yeah'.
 
Why should Kate need a significant pause to be able to answer that question? The immediate impression from both the pause, her answer and the way she says it, is that she momentarily didn't know what to say. But how could that be?
 
Jenny: 'What was your first thought, what did you think immediately had happened?' (Upon discovering that Madeleine wasn't there)
 
Kate: 'Well, obviously I kind of looked and double looked and, errm, you know, obviously, there was twenty seconds of, you know, she must be there (laughs). Errm, but there was no doubt in my mind within (laughs) probably thirty seconds, errm, that Madeleine had been taken from that room. I can't go into the reasons why I thought that but it was... no doubt whatsoever. And Madeleine wouldn't have walked out herself. I know that.'
 
Kate gives an extraordinarily convoluted and inarticulate answer to a very simple question.
 
Jenny: 'And how will you deal with the guilt that will probably stay with you forever of having left Madeleine alone?'
 
Kate: 'Well, I have actually come to terms a little bit with... with that, Jenny, I mean, you know... I know the, errm, I know the situation that we were in that night and uh, I've said all along, I didn't feel I was taking a risk. Errm, yeah, I... I do feel desperately sorry I wasn't with Madeleine at that minute when she was taken. Errm, I'd also like to mention I've had so much support from so many people. I've had so many letters and comments sent me.. sent to me from other families, and particularly other mums saying, you know, we have done what you have done a hundred times over, do not blame yourself.'
 
There are three peculiar aspects to Kate's answer:
 
What does Kate mean by the phrase 'I know the situation we were in that night'?
 
Why does Kate say she is desperately sorry she wasn't with Madeleine 'at that minute when she was taken'? She specifically emphasises 'at that minute' when she speaks.
 
Why does she seek to justify her decision to leave her three small children alone, every night of the holiday, by suggesting that other families had done this a 'hundred times over'? This is surely a ludicrous exaggeration. How many families have 'hundreds' of holidays with their children?
 
You can listen to the full interview by clicking here
 
Kate's first interview without Gerry - The Independent 05 August 2007
 
Obviously, interviews printed in the media are not such good indicators as the pauses and half-words are edited out and the result is a sanitised version of the interview.
 
Yet again, though, Kate's answers to questions specific to the investigation follow a similar pattern as above.
 
Some examples:
 
Kate: 'There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind she'd been taken. That's why the fear set in. Then you go through the guilt phase.'
 
Again, in that last sentence, she appears to have displaced herself from the event and sounds like she is quoting something she has been advised by a counsellor. She's not telling us how she, as a participant in the event, felt. She's telling us, in general terms, what somebody would feel who went through that situation.
 
Kate: 'You don't expect a predator to break in and take your daughter out the bed.'
 
This is a curiously dismissive, casual and unfeeling way to describe the nightmarish abduction of your own daughter. And again, she speaks as though she's placed outside the event, using 'you' instead of 'I' or 'we'. As she is being asked for her personal insight, would it not have been normal to expect a response such as 'We never expected a predator to break in and take our daughter'.
 
Kate: 'Why would you for one minute think something like that would happen?' It's not like we went down town or anything.'
 
Again, use of the word 'you', displacing her from the event, in a defensive, dismissive and almost aggressive statement.
 
Kate: 'You can't imagine in your wildest dreams that anyone would do something like that.'
 
Why use of the word 'you' and 'your wildest dreams'? Why not say 'I never imagined in my wildest dreams that anyone could do something like that.' Again, as before, it places Kate outside the event, looking in and recounting a story.
 
Kate: 'That night runs over and over in my mind, and I'm sure people will learn from our mistake, if you want to call it that.'
 
We can surely call leaving her three small children, under 4 years of age, alone in a dark and strange apartment a mistake, at the very least.
 
It's also worth noting that in this interview Kate states:
 
'Maybe it was because it was family-friendly, because it felt so safe. That week we had left them alone while we had dinner.'
 
This clarifies that the McCanns left their children alone every night of the holiday, whilst they went drinking with their friends. And:
 
'I was checking for her. Then there was panic and fear. That was the first thing that hit. I was screaming her name. I ran to the group. Everyone was the same.'
 
Kate clearly states that she ran back to the tapas restaurant to sound the alarm. Other witnesses have suggested that she shouted to the group from the balcony of her apartment. Indeed, if she did run back to the tapas restaurant, it would appear an extraordinary decision to leave the twins alone again, when she was 'immediately' convinced that Madeleine had just been abducted.
 
(This interview can be read below)
 
Leicester Mercury interview - 03 October 2007
 
On the whole a banal interview but containing two strange moments from Kate:
 
Interviewer: When were you aware of the green and yellow Madeleine bands?

Gerry: "It must have been quite early on. When did they start? I don't know."

Kate: "Time passed by so surreally. It was the first few hours, then eight hours, then 24 hours, 48 hours, then 72 hours... I don't remember. Each day felt like a week."

It is not clear what is Kate talking about here. The question was about the green and yellow Madeleine wristbands but Kate appears to be answering a completely different question!

Interviewer: What can you say about the legal side? It's been widely reported that Portuguese Inspector Goncalo Amaral has been relieved of his duties...

Gerry: "We can't comment on that. We want to emphasise enough our thanks, to the people of Leicestershire who helped to raise this money and for the support we have received. It's just so uplifting. A few nights ago, we had a curry with some friends."

Kate: "It was just a takeaway, we weren't out having a meal."

Yet another curious interjection from Kate. Why is she so sensitive about going out for a meal?

You can read the rest of the Leicester Mercury interview here

It is clear that by the time Kate and Gerry did their interview for Spanish TV Station Antena 3, Kate had been well briefed and rehearsed on answers to the questions. In many ways, it was a series of small scripted statements rather than a spontaneous interview. That may be the reason why Gerry looked so unhappy, because he was unable to control the course of the interview and was left at the mercy of Kate's performance.

In Kate's early interviews, with Gerry, she said virtually nothing, preferring to let Gerry speak and control the interview. The Antena 3 interview was all about Kate and the need to show emotion. However, the reported tears and four breaks in filming have yet to be seen. It should be noted that Kate holding a hand over her forehead does not equal real emotion. Nor does wiping her hand across her cheek to remove a non-existent teardrop.

Short clip from Jane Hill interview - no physical searching, 25 May 2007

Marie Claire article, 03 August 2007 (link)
Kate McCann - mother of Madeleine - speaks to Marie Claire
 
Madeleine McCann: a household name today, for all the wrong reasons. Now missing for 94 days, her smiling face still stares down at us from billboards, in cinemas ads and even on the back of taxi receipts, although the 24-hour media snowstorm has subsided and the hoards of journalists camped out in Praia de Luz are all but gone. 'Slowly, one by one, they're going home,' Kate, Madeleine's mother, admitted this week.

That truth is bittersweet. For Madeleine's tragic family, the media has been crucial in keeping their daughter's disappearance in the public eye, but our insatiable appetite for news is yet another exhausting burden they have been forced to bear over the past few months.

Kate still insists she won't be following the press pack home until Madeleine is safe back by her side. 'I've said all along, I feel closer to Madeleine here, I feel closer to the investigation,' she told us. 'The thought of going back to our happy family home is quite daunting. There probably are benefits to being at home, but at the moment I have to go with my gut feeling.'

Speaking to Kate is a slightly unnerving experience. This poised, elegant woman who has kept her nerve in the face of unimaginable horror, but who refuses to have her self-belief broken. 'There's no doubt we have some very low times,' she concedes. 'The hope is still there. We're still trying very much to be positive. We have to keep going for us and for the twins. And also for Madeline.'

But while she hopes, she also can't forget: 'I don't think it's easy to switch off 100% from the situation that's for sure. There's always something hanging there. That little heaviness. Even when we're having fun with the twins I can't help thinking, how lovely it would be if Madeleine were there. If the three of them were playing together.'

'We have some better days and some not-so-good days. I guess it's dealing with it as it comes.'

Despite tabloid reports last weekend of 'Cracker-style detectives' flying over from the UK to Portugal (untrue as it turns out) and a reported sighting of the four-year-old in Belgium during the week, there has yet to be any significant breakthrough in the McCann case. It's a hard fact for Kate and her family to take.

'I do have days when I can't stop thinking about the situation and I feel so incredibly frustrated. A day goes by, a week goes by, a month goes by. We know somebody knows something,' she points out.

Despite the frustration, however, she won't hear a word against the Portuguese authorities: 'We actually have a really good relationship with them. They listen to our suggestions as well, which is really kind, because they don't have to, we're not detectives! And they're willing to accept help from people who have offered. I'm really happy with the way things are going.'

Happy, of course, being a relative word. When I ask her about her relationship with husband Gerry, and how the past few months has affected them, she starts to say how lucky she is to have him, but breaks stride to admit, 'Actually, I feel like I'm the unluckiest person on the planet at the minute.'

'We are very lucky that we have a very strong relationship,' she continues. 'We always have had. We always talk a lot and it's even more important now that we do that. We've got different strengths I guess. We've been able to work together and pull each other through at different times.'

Finally, before we finish and Kate moves on to the next of many interviews scheduled for her day, there's time for one more heartbreaking admission. 'I hope you all get to meet Madeleine one day soon.'

For the latest news from the McCann family, visit
www.bringmadeleinehome.com. International Crimestoppers can be contacted on 0044 18 83 73 13 36, Crimestoppers in the UK on 0800 555 111 or the Portuguese police on 00351 282 405 400.

Friday 3 August 2007

Kate's first interview without Gerry, published 05 August 2007

Published, The Independent: 05 August 2007

 

On Saturday, it will be 100 days since Madeleine McCann was snatched from the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz. Interviewed for the first time without her husband, Madeleine's mother tells Lori Campbell about the criticism they have faced, the support they have received and how she and her family have coped since that dreadful night.

The one thing I have always been definite about is that I wanted to be a mother. Then when we were trying for a baby and it wasn't happening, it was really hard. The longer it went on, the harder it was. I saw my friends having children and I was really delighted for them, but it made me feel sad too.

We tried unsuccessfully for several years to conceive. There came a point when we admitted we needed help. I was so desperate to have a child I'd try anything. I know IVF isn't everyone's choice, but I wanted to try it. By that stage I was happy to start the treatment because it was taking the pressure off us a bit. We had one unsuccessful attempt before Madeleine, and that was very hard. But when I got pregnant with Madeleine it was just fantastic. It didn't seem true. I did a test at home so I could handle the result if it wasn't good. I was looking at it thinking 'I don't believe that'. Then I went to the hospital and they checked it. I was really excited.

Madeleine's birth

Once we were past 12 weeks we were telling everyone. I swam every day until the day she was born to keep us both healthy. It was a really uncomplicated pregnancy. I had no sickness, nothing. It was so easy. I didn't know I was having a girl until she was born. [She smiles] There she was, perfect. She was lovely. She had the most beautiful face. I'd thought I was going to have a boy, just based on instinct. That actually made it even more special that she was a girl.

The first five or six months were really difficult. She had very bad colic and cried about 18 hours a day. She had to be picked up all the time. So I spent many a day dancing round the living room holding Madeleine. I remember trying to butter my toast with one hand and holding her in the other. We would watch the clock and Gerry would come home and there would be three of us. Sometimes she just looked so sad with colic, and the three of us would be cuddled together trying to get her through it. Like a lot of things, you go through that difficult, bad stage and it tightens that bond. We've both got an incredible bond with Madeleine.

The twins are born

When the twins were born she was amazing, I keep saying that, but she was. She was only 20 months old. She just handled it so well. She was still a baby herself ... [Kate's voice breaks and she has to pause to stop herself crying] I'll try not to get emotional at this point. I just remember when they were born. I'm going to get a bit upset now, sorry. When the time came to bring Madeleine in, it was in the evening. She came in and ... just her little face. When she saw the twins for the first time it was lovely. It was so nice, this expression. She sat on the end of my bed.

We had the odd moment of course, such as when I was breast-feeding the twins. There was a tired Madeleine walking about the room wanting attention. But she was remarkable the way she coped with it all. She would look at me and say 'hold it, hold it,' meaning she wanted to hold one of the babies."

Holiday in Portugal

She was so excited about coming to Portugal. She was holding on to another girl's hand walking up the stairs to the plane. She was no trouble on the flight, always chatting, and colouring in or reading.

The kids had a fantastic time. We all did, but it was lovely seeing them having fun. We did use the kids' club and very often did activities there. Madeleine in particular had a ball. They did swimming, went on a little boat, went to the beach, did lots of colouring in and face painting. Madeleine is at the age where she could really enjoy it.

They played tennis, which she loved, she was so happy. They had a little dance prepared for Friday. It was a little presentation they were working on in the days before. I don't know what it was, I never got to see it ...

On the evening she went missing, before she went to bed, she said, 'Mummy I've had the best day ever. I'm having lots and lots of fun.' [Pause]

That night

The night she went missing there was about 20 seconds of disbelief where I thought 'that can't be right'. I was checking for her. Then there was panic and fear. That was the first thing that hit. I was screaming her name. I ran to the group. Everyone was the same. It was just total fear. I never thought for one second that she'd walked out. I knew someone had been in the apartment because of the way it had been left.

But I knew she wouldn't do that anyway. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind she'd been taken. That's why the fear set in. Then you go through the guilt phase. Straight away, because we didn't know what had happened. We were just so desperately sorry. Every hour now, I still question, 'why did I think that was safe?'

I can't describe how much I love Madeleine. If I'd had to think for one second, 'should we have dinner and leave them?' I wouldn't have done it. It didn't happen like that. I didn't have to think for a second, that's how safe I felt.

Maybe it was because it was family-friendly, because it felt so safe. That week we had left them alone while we had dinner. There is no way on this planet I would take a risk, no matter how small, with my children. I do say to myself 'why did I think it was safe?' But it did feel safe and so right. I love her and I'm a totally responsible parent and that's the only thing that keeps me going. I have no doubt about that.

You don't expect a predator to break in and take your daughter out the bed. It could have happened under other circumstances and there would still be the regret. It wasn't like a decision we made. It was a matter of 'let's get the kids to sleep, then we'll have dinner.' It wasn't a 'shall I, shan't I?' thing. I feel desperately sorry to her that we weren't there.

This has touched so many people. I've had so many letters from mothers, really kind words. People have said 'Kate, we've done this a hundred times over ourselves. Why would you for one minute think something like that would happen?' It's not like we went down town or anything.

How did it happen?

People have said to me you're the unluckiest person in the world, and we are. That night runs over and over in my mind, and I'm sure people will learn from our mistake, if you want to call it that. But it is important not to lose sight of the fact we haven't committed a crime. Somebody has. Somebody's been there, somebody's been watching. They took our daughter away and we can't lose sight of that.

There are still moments where I think 'how did that happen?' You can't imagine in your wildest dreams that anyone would do something like that. It's awful for us but I have absolutely no idea what Madeleine's feeling. [She pauses to hold back tears] How can someone do that to a child?

When we moved apartments we unpacked some of Madeleine's things. We don't have a room for her set out or anything. I've kept her clothes together. She has lots of presents to open that people have sent. Mostly people who don't know her, and pictures other children have drawn.

The twins know she's not there and they do miss her. But on a day-to-day basis they are happy. They're lovely, like a little double act, they're so funny. They put their little rucksacks on, hold hands and walk off around the room. They're fantastic.

The twins' reaction

Their vocabulary has come on so much since we've been here. The older they get the more it stretches, and there are areas we're going to have to broach. But we'll let them take the lead. They talk about Madeleine's things and if they get a biscuit they say 'one for Sean, one for Amelie, one for Madeleine'.

There are photographs of Madeleine all around and they comment on them. They've got a lot of love and protection. We've taken professional advice just to check we're doing the right thing by them. We have contact with a child psychologist when we need it.

When we went back to the UK for a family baptism there was an empty seat on the plane and Sean said 'that's Madeleine's seat'. That caught me. Because I wasn't going home, it didn't feel too bad leaving. It was important for me to go. The hardest thing wasn't being in the UK, it was to be with such a close family and for Madeleine not to be there. I knew how much she'd have loved to be there ... Despite her small size she just has this huge presence. She brings a lot of joy.

Amelie asked me afterwards, 'Where's Madeleine? I miss my big sister.' I don't know where that question came from, it could have been because it was a family day. She's obviously made that connection, she knows Madeleine's her big sister. Amelie will sometimes point at the Cuddle Cat [Madeleine's cuddly toy] and say 'Madeleine. Her Cuddle Cat. Looking after it.' She's probably heard me saying that.

Sean said something the other day about Madeleine. It catches me. Then they do whatever they're doing, like 'look at this Noddy', and they're on to something else. It's not dwelled on.

Gerry's reaction

Gerry's way of coping is to keep busy and focused. He needs to feel like he's doing something. He's a very optimistic, positive person. I'm not always. With a lot of the campaign stuff, he has done the talking. Sometimes I want to speak, but I just can't. It's not natural for me. Gerry's used to having to speak at conferences and it's harder for me. But I'm equally involved. Every decision is mutual.

When Gerry went to Washington, he rang me three or four times a day to ask me what I thought. Although I wasn't there in person I knew hour by hour what was happening. We knew it was a positive visit. It wasn't about Madeleine in particular. We've learnt a lot and become aware of the bigger issue.

Other missing children

There are so many missing children out there, abducted children and sexually exploited children. Once you know all that you can't turn a blind eye to it. Madeleine is our priority, but we have to help. We can't just ignore those other children.

I don't know why the publicity's been so massive. We're normal people. We don't have amazing contacts or anything, we just have strong friends. Everyone brainstormed and became very creative. They did what they could and if that meant asking well-known faces, celebrities, it was done. They are normal people too. They wanted to help.

I still have moments of panic and fear. It's not as intense and unrelenting as the first five days. Now, obviously, we have hope and it's important to hold on to that. I do go back to those dark moments. It would be abnormal never to touch on them. I do feel panic and fear when I'm thinking about her, but it doesn't help. I'm not helping Madeleine by going there. It's important to channel those emotions into something positive.

Returning home

But I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to go back into our family home. I can't bear the thought of it. We'd lived in that house for a year and it was a really happy family home. We have so many happy memories in that house. Madeleine's room is shocking pink. She chose the colour.

Obviously things change as the weeks and months go by. We haven't got the pressure of Sean and Amelie starting school or anything. At the moment we're staying and we feel happier staying. We are closer to the investigation. Some of that might be mad, I don't know. We don't know where Madeleine is, we don't think she's in the UK but there's nothing to say she's any further from there than she is from here. It's a gut feeling. I'm aware there's probably things that would be easier at home, but at the moment this is the right thing for us.

And it's hard to think about work. I'm not looking too far ahead, but I can't drop the campaign, I know that. I can't turn a blind eye to it. We'll do whatever we can, working with other organisations, to try to make a difference. It's so hard not to get involved, it's so intimate to us now that we can't ignore it. It's not like I go round in a bubble, but I honestly did not realise the scale of this problem, children suffering like this.

The public's reaction

The criticism from the public is hurtful. I hate publicity, interviews, anything like that. I just hate it. When things have happened in the past to children I've wondered 'how do you get through that, how can you even live another day?' Then here we were doing press conferences. You just don't know until you're in that situation. Like this morning: how did I get in the shower, have my breakfast?

I just go through the motions. Any parent would do anything they could for their child. We're just doing what we feel is the best thing for Madeleine. Some people say the publicity will be harmful, that she'll be hidden away because of it. But what can you do, just sit and do nothing? It's difficult. It's awkward. But it's not about me, it's not about Gerry, it's about Madeleine.

As a couple, I think we're stronger than ever. We've got an equal partnership. We don't row, we've never rowed. We have different strengths and have reached different stages at different points but we help each other. We haven't talked about staying here for ever, we're just not looking that far ahead. We've had so much support, mothers can empathise with me. Speaking now, on my own, is a way of saying thank you. They've given a bit of themselves to me.

[Next Saturday will mark 100 days since Madeleine's disappearance] I'm still hoping we're not going to get there. Every day I'm hoping we won't get to the next day without her. But we have to keep going for Madeleine.

If I could say one thing to comfort her it's that we love her. She knows we love her very much. She knows we're looking for her, that we're doing absolutely everything and we'll never give up.

*

Note: Although appearing in the Independent, and a number of other papers, this interview was actually arranged and conducted by the Sunday Mirror and then subsequently made available to other media outlets.

The People version of the above interview, published 05 August 2007
MADELEINE: MY GUILT & REGRET The People

By Rachael Bletchly, 5 August 2007

The grief-stricken mother of Madeleine McCann has broken her silence over the guilt that haunts her for leaving the tot on the night she was abducted.

Kate McCann wept as she told of the crushing sorrow and soul-searching that have plagued her for more than three months.

And she made a heart-rending apology to her "perfect" daughter for going out for a meal with hubby Gerry while the youngster stayed behind at their holiday flat with her little brother and sister.

Speaking for the first time without Gerry at her side, Kate said: "I can't describe how much I love Madeleine and I'm desperately sorry we weren't there.

"That night runs over and over in my mind and every hour I question 'Why did I think that was safe?'

"If I'd thought for one second, 'Should we have dinner and leave them?' I wouldn't have done it.

"But I didn't have to think. Maybe it was because the holiday complex was family-friendly."

Hugging Maddie's treasured Cuddle Cat, anguished Kate revealed she could no longer smell her daughter's scent on the toy.

And the 38-year-old GP added: "If I could say one thing to comfort Madeleine now I'd tell her we love her.

"She knows we're looking for her, that we're doing absolutely everything and we'll never give up."

Little Madeleine was snatched in Portugal on May 3 as her family holidayed with pals in the Algarve resort of Praia da Luz.

Ironically, one of the last things the youngster had told her mum before she vanished was that she had just had the "best day ever".

Kate and heart surgeon Gerry, 39, immediately launched a worldwide appeal to trace the four-year-old.

Cops are probing dozens of alleged sightings - the most recent only last week in Belgium.

And the McCanns, of Rothley, Leics, are living in hope one of them will lead to their missing daughter.

Kate recalled Maddie's excitement as they headed for the Algarve with two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie and a group of pals.

And she revealed Madeleine had a ball at a children's club run by resort chiefs in Praia da Luz.

Kate said: "The kids had a fantastic time and Madeleine was so happy."

But her voice fell to a whisper as she revealed Maddie had been due to take part in a dance show on May 4 - only hours after she was snatched.

Kate said: "Before she went to bed that night she said, 'Mummy, I've had the best day ever. I'm having lots and lots of fun'.'

Madeleine's mum and dad joined friends at a restaurant just 50 yards away after their children went to sleep.

And they popped back every half an hour to make sure the tots were fine.

Then came the moment of horror that turned their lives upside down.

Kate remembered staring at her daughter's empty bed and said: "There was about 20 seconds of disbelief before panic and fear hit me.

"I was screaming her name - but there wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind she'd been taken.

"Then you do go through the guilt phase because we didn't know what had happened.

"We were so desperately sorry we'd left them alone while we had dinner.

"There is no way on this planet I would take a risk - no matter how small - with my children.

"I do say to myself, 'Why did I think it was safe?'

"But it DID feel safe. You don't expect a predator to break in and take your daughter out of her bed.

"And I do feel regret. It could have happened under other circumstances and there would still be the regret."

Kate has been inundated with letters of support from other mums.

She went on: "They are really kind words. People have said, 'We've done this a hundred times ourselves - why would you for one minute think something like that would happen?'

"And other people have said, 'You're the unluckiest people in the world'.

"I'm sure people will learn from our mistake."

Kate added: "It's important not to lose sight of the fact that we haven't committed a crime.

"But somebody has, somebody's been there, somebody's been watching. They took our daughter away and we can't lose sight of that."

And pausing to fight back tears, shattered Kate demanded: "How could someone do that to a child?" Kate was wearing a locket engraved with the words "Tower of Strength". It holds a picture of Maddie.

And she clung tightly to Cuddle Cat as she relived the nightmare of her daughter's disappearance.

She said she still kisses the pink and white toy - but admitted Madeleine's scent was fading from it.

Kate told us: "I was desperately hoping she would be back before the cat got washed.

"But in the end it smelt of suntan lotion and I forgot what colour it was.

"It was special to Madeleine - so it's special to me.

"Amelie will sometimes point at it and say, 'Madeleine. Her Cuddle Cat. Looking after it.' She's probably heard me saying that." Kate revealed it breaks her heart when the twins ask where Maddie is.

Speaking at the Algarve flat they are renting to be near the heart of the police hunt, she said: "They know she's not there and they do miss her.

"If they get a biscuit they say, 'One for Sean, one for Amelie, one for Madeleine'.

"There are photographs of Madeleine all around and they comment on them.

"And when we went back to the UK for a family baptism recently there was an empty seat on the plane and Sean said, 'That's Madeleine's seat'. That really caught me.

"It was a very emotional day and Amelie asked me afterwards, 'Where's Madeleine? I miss my big sister'."

In spite of her grief, Kate managed to smile when she told of the day Maddie was born - after years of trying for a family.

She said: "I always wanted to be a mother but when we were trying for a baby and it wasn't happening, it was really hard."

They tried IVF treatment - and the first attempt was a failure.

But Kate shrugged off the disappointment and tried again.

She said: "I got pregnant with Madeleine and it was fantastic. It was a really uncomplicated pregnancy - I had no sickness, nothing.

"There she was, perfect. She was lovely. She had the most beautiful face."

Kate went on: "The first five or six months were really difficult.

"She had very bad colic and cried about 18 hours a day.

"She had to be picked up all the time, so I spent many a day dancing round the living room holding her.

"Sometimes she looked so sad with colic and the three of us would cuddle together trying to get her through it.

"But like a lot of things, you go through that difficult bad stage and it tightens the bond.

"We've both got an incredible bond with Madeleine."

Kate described her daughter as bubbly, determined and independent.

She added: "Despite her small size she has this huge presence. She brings a lot of joy."

And she proudly told how Maddie was spellbound when the twins arrived.

Her voice breaking, Kate told us: "She was amazing.

"She was only 20 months old - still a baby herself - but she handled it all so well.

"Madeleine came in to see them for the first time and oh! her little face. It was lovely."

Kate revealed Gerry has been coping with his heartache by focusing on the global crusade to find Maddie and to help trace other missing children.

She said: "He needs to feel like he's doing something. He's a very optimistic, positive person.

"I'm not always - and with a lot of the campaign stuff he has done the talking.

"Sometimes I want to speak but I can't. It's not natural for me.

"But I'm equally involved - every decision is mutual."

Kate explained why they had widened the campaign to include other kids.

She said: "There are so many missing children out there - abducted children and sexually exploited children.

"Once you know all that you can't turn a blind eye to it.

"Madeleine is our priority but we HAVE to help - we can't just ignore those other children.

"Whatever comes out of our experience, anything that can make the tiniest bit of difference to make the world a safer place is going to be a good thing. I feel a moral obligation."

Kate revealed she is still plagued by fears her daughter could be dead.

Choking back tears again, she said: "I have moments of panic, although it's not as intense and unrelenting as the first five days.

"Now we have hope and it's important to hold on to that.

"I do go back to those dark moments - it's only natural.

"But I'm not helping Madeleine by going there.

"It's important to channel those emotions into something positive."

Kate said the nightmare has made her relationship with Gerry stronger then ever.

She went on: "We talk a lot and that is vital at the moment.

"We have different strengths and we help each other."

But tormented Kate is worried she may NEVER be able to set foot in the family home again.

She said: "I can't bear the thought of it. We had lived in that house for a year and we have so many happy memories from it. Madeleine's room is shocking pink. She chose the colour.

"At the moment we feel happier staying here because we are closer to the investigation."

Kate admitted she has been wounded by reports which have criticised her and Gerry.

And she insisted she hated being in the public eye.

But she said: "Any parent would do anything they could for their child.

"And we're just doing what we feel is the best thing for Madeleine.

"Some people say the publicity will be harmful, that she'll be hidden away because of it.

"But what can you do - sit and do nothing?

"It's difficult and awkward. But it's not about me, it's not about Gerry - it's about Madeleine."

As supporters plan a series of events for next Saturday to mark 100 days since the little girl's abduction, Kate vowed: "We have to keep going for Madeleine.

"We've had so much support and speaking on my own is a way of saying thank you."

The brave mum added: "Madeleine is irreplaceable - I want her back."

The Times version of the above interview, published 05 August 2007
Madeleine, I’m sorry I left you alone The Times
 
As it approaches 100 days since her daughter's abduction, Kate McCann tells Steven Swinford in her first solo interview of her sense of guilt and the pain when her infant twins ask: where's Madeleine?
 
August 5, 2007
 
The mother of Madeleine McCann has apologised to her absent daughter, saying she is "desperately sorry" for leaving her alone on the night she was abducted.
 
She also revealed some of the little girl's last words to her — and that her toddler brother and sister still talk of Madeleine.
 
Kate McCann, 38, was speaking last week nearly 100 days after the four-year-old was taken from the family's holiday apartment on the Algarve.
 
It was the first time she had given an interview without her husband Gerry. The tension showed on her face as she described the regret still plaguing her.
 
"I feel desperately sorry that we weren't there for her," said Kate. "Every hour now I still question, 'Why did I think that was safe?'"
 
She recalled how happy Madeleine had been during the holiday, particularly at the children's club where she played.
 
"Madeleine had a ball. They did swimming, went on a little boat, went to a beach, did lots of colouring in and face painting," said Kate.
 
"On the evening before she went missing, before she went to bed, she said, 'Mummy, I've had the best day ever. I'm having lots of fun.'
 
"They had a little dance prepared for Friday."
 
Her voice dropped to a whisper as she added: "I don't know what it was. I never got to see it."
 
On that evening, Thursday, May 3, Kate and Gerry left their three children in the apartment while they went for dinner at a nearby tapas bar in the beach-side complex at the resort of Praia de Luz.
 
They were 20 yards from the villa and checked on the children every half hour, she said.
 
But when she returned at about 9pm she found Madeleine had gone. She immediately realised she had been abducted.
 
"I never thought for one second that she'd walked out. I knew someone had been in the apartment because of the way it had been left. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind she'd been taken.
 
"There was about 20 seconds of disbelief when I thought, 'That can't be right.' I was checking for her. Then there was panic and fear. I was screaming her name. I ran to the group. Everyone was the same; it was just total fear."
 
Ever since then she has had to confront the guilt of knowing that, if she had not left her children on their own, Madeleine would not have vanished.
 
"I've gone through all my life and said I never want to have any regrets, but you can't not regret something like that," she said. "But it did feel safe and it did feel right. Maybe it was because it was family-friendly. That week we had left them alone while we had dinner.
 
"I can't describe how much I love Madeleine. If I'd had to think for one second, 'Should we have dinner and leave them?' I wouldn't have done it."
 
She has found that other mothers understand her mistake.
 
"I've had so many letters from mothers, really kind words. People have said, 'Kate, we've done this a hundred times over ourselves. Why would you for one minute think this would happen?'"
 
The letters have helped her to keep perspective.
 
"It is important not to lose sight of the fact we haven't committed a crime. Somebody has. Somebody's been there; somebody's been watching. You don't expect a predator to break in and take your daughter out of bed." Kate, who has stayed in Portugal since the abduction, was speaking in the town of Lagos, a 10-minute drive from the scene of the crime.
 
As she spoke, she clutched her daughter's pink toy cat. Around her neck was a silver locket containing a picture of the four-year-old and engraved with the words "Tower of Strength".
 
The loss of Madeleine is all the more painful for her because she was a desperately wanted child conceived using IVF.
 
"When we were trying for a baby and it wasn't happening, it was really hard. When I got pregnant with Madeleine it was just fantastic," Kate said.
 
"It was a really uncomplicated pregnancy. I had no sickness, nothing. It was so easy. I swam every day until the day she was born, to keep us both healthy.
 
"I didn't know I was having a girl until she was born. There she was, perfect. She was lovely, she had the most beautiful face. It made it even more special that she was a girl. It took us by surprise."
 
By comparison with the easy pregnancy, the first six months of Madeleine's life were difficult; yet her mother became noticeably more relaxed as she immersed herself in those early memories.
 
"She had very bad colic and cried about 18 hours a day. She had to be picked up all the time, so I spent many a day dancing round the living room holding Madeleine. I remember trying to butter my toast with one hand and holding her in the other."
 
Madeleine's independent streak emerged at an early stage. "She's always had bags of personality, even as a baby she was quite determined and independent," said Kate.
 
When Madeleine was two Kate gave birth to twins, Sean and Amelie. The memory of the siblings’ first meeting brought Kate close to tears.
 
"When the time came to bring Madeleine in, it was in the evening," she said. "She came in and . . . just her little face. She sat with the twins for the first time and it was lovely."
 
For both Gerry and Kate, their campaign to raise awareness of Madeleine's disappearance is a source of hope. But she finds the pressure of life in the public eye hard. While Gerry has answered questions with the skill of a seasoned public speaker, Kate has struggled.
 
"I hate publicity, interviews, anything like that. I just hate it," she said. "I just go through the motions. Any parent would do anything they could for their child. We're just doing the best thing for Madeleine.
 
"Some people say the publicity will be harmful, that she'll be hidden away because of it. But what can you do, just sit and do nothing?"
 
She revealed: "I still have moments of panic and fear. I do go back to those dark moments. It would be abnormal never to touch on them. But it's not about me, it's not about Gerry, it's about Madeleine."
 
The twins provide a measure of normality. They are happy in each other's company; but they show they are aware of Madeleine's absence. Such moments are crippling for Kate.
 
"When we went back to the UK for a family baptism there was an empty seat on the plane and Sean said, 'That's Madeleine's seat.' That caught me, she said.
 
"It was a very emotional day. Amelie asked me afterwards, 'Where's Madeleine? I miss my sister?' It catches me."
 
How are she and Gerry coping? "I think we're stronger than ever," said Kate. "We don't row; we have communication."
 
Kate, a locum GP, and Gerry, a consultant cardiologist, have no plans to return to work or the family home in Rothley, Leicestershire, without Madeleine.
 
"We have so many happy memories of that house. Madeleine's room is a shocking pink. She chose the colour. At the moment we're staying and we feel happier staying. We are closer to the investigation.
 
"Some of that might be mad; I don't know. We don't know where Madeleine is; we don't think she's in the UK."
 
The police investigation is showing little sign of progress. Last week a child therapist in the Belgian town of Tongeren claimed she had seen Madeleine with a couple in a restaurant. While police said the witness was "credible", there have been dozens of similar — and fruitless — sightings.
 
The couple plan to use the 100-day anniversary of Madeleine's disappearance next Saturday to raise awareness of the plight of abducted children across the world. But Kate hopes the anniversary will not need marking.
 
"I'm still hoping we're not going to get there," she said.
 
"Every day I'm hoping we won't get to the next day without her. It's a long time, but we have to keep going for Madeleine."
 
The McCanns may one day have another child, she said, but not while Madeleine is missing.
 
"It takes time and I'm not getting any younger," Kate said. But "Madeleine is irreplaceable. I want her back. We just have to wait and see what life has in store for us".
 
What would she say to Madeleine if she could get a message to her now? "I'd tell her we love her. She knows we're looking for her, that we're doing absolutely everything and we'll never give up."
 
Murat: new raid
 
Police investigating the disappearance of Madeleine McCann yesterday raided the home of Robert Murat, the chief suspect, for a second time, write Steven Swinford and Brendan de Beer.
 
Two British detectives and about 10 Portuguese officers arrived at the villa owned by Murat's mother Jenny in Praia da Luz at 7am yesterday.
 
They spent the day clearing undergrowth and cutting down trees on the property as they prepared to conduct a forensic search of the garden. Guilhermino Encarnacao, director of the judicial police in the Faro region and head of the investigation, refused to rule out the possibility that the garden would be dug up.
 
He emphasised, however, that the searches were "strictly procedural". He said: "This is not a spur of the moment thing — it is something we have been thinking about doing for some time."
 
Murat initially refused to allow the detectives entry to the property without the presence of his lawyer. He then spent the day away from the house, but returned in the afternoon, while his mother stayed with a family friend.
 
Murat was declared a suspect 10 days after Madeleine was last seen, on May 3, but has strongly denied any involvement in her disappearance. His house is about 100 yards from where Madeleine's family was staying.
 
The search comes as police investigate a possible sighting of Madeleine in Tongeren, Belgium. They are conducting DNA tests on a bottle and straw to find out if she was the girl seen sipping a milkshake in a bar last Saturday.
 
Maddy - the horror goes on Timesonline/alphamummy
 
Eleanor Mills
August 03, 2007
 
I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to be Madeleine McCann's mother - I've felt haunted by the missing girl ever since she disappeared and I never even met her. I've dreamt about her, hugged my own little girls extra tight and kept a particularly close eye on them whenever I've been out anywhere. I think for all parents of young children this story struck a dreadful chord: what if it had been us, my family, my child. I've had many conversations along the lines of 'would you have left your child to go out to dinner?' - there are no right answers to that.
 
In an interview today Maddy's mother explains that leaving her children at the time felt 'perfectly safe' and that she is tormented by guilt that she let down her beloved, much longed for and planned for daughter. What haunted me about this interview are her comments about how she can never go home, never go back and live in their old house in the UK. How she couldn't bear to walk into Maddy's shocking pink bedroom...
 
I know everyone out there has a view on this: what do you think?

Transcript of Woman's Hour interview, 08 August 2007
Transcript of Woman's Hour interview
 
Thanks to 'MsMarbles' for transcription
 
Jenni Murray: Now this mornings papers yet again are full of the McCann's, the parents of Madeleine who disappeared from their holiday apartment in Portugal nearly 100 days ago.
 
There's been a flurry of activity this week with forensic investigation of the only named suspects garden, a detailed examination of the apartment, and the discovery there of what may be blood. The McCann's have themselves appeared to be under suspicion as their car was searched, and some of today's headlines carry their denial that they had anything to do with Madeleine's abduction.
 
Well Kate McCann has never before spoken alone in a broadcast interview. I asked her how's she coping with the current developements in the investigation.
 
Kate McCann: And obviously I can't talk too much about the investigation, umm, but, just trying to get through one day at a time to be honest Jenni. Ermmmm, you know, some of the stuff we're not sure about anyway, and we don't know if it's true or not, so ermmm, inhales audibly at this point we're just coping day by day really. Err, we've got a lot of support, umm, very close family and friends, and as you're aware we've had a huge support from the general public. Ermmm, and we're just trying to have ....inhales audibly again and next bit inaudible and said within a kind of supressed laugh obviously with a mi .... as normal life as possible for, for the twins, you know.
 
Jenni Murray: There has been a lot of speculation as well though that the Police have treated you and your husband, as suspects. How do you handle that kind of very personal speculation?
 
Kate McCann: Inhales audibly Ermm, I think you just gotta exasperated sigh think to yourself, I mean yo.. you need the investigation to be thorough and ermm, inhales audibly you know, we, we'd welcome that really. Ermmm, short pause you know. You know what, we've got a very good working relationship with the Portuguese Police, and err we've come a long way since the beginning of the investigation. inhales audibly and I mean the Police are very open at the beginning, saying everybody is a suspect, and I think that's often the case in, in many crimes as well.
 
Jenni Murray: And yet of course now it seems that the detailed forensic examination is only beginning to happen now? And you know, things like details of blood in the apartment which are only just now coming all over the British Press at at the moment.
 
Loudly audibly inhales Why do you suppose that sortemphasise on the word 'sort' here of forensic examination is coming so late, three months after Madeleine disappeared?
 
Kate McCann: Inhales loudly and for a few seconds. I'm sorry Jenni, I can't, I can't really talk too much about the investigation. Ermm, obviously with Judicial secrecy and we are witnesses to a crime, so, inhales audibly I don't wanna do anything that will jepodise the investigation and possibly jepodise Madeleine, so err, probably best if we can veer away a little bit from the investigation.
 
Jenni Murray: How do you deal though, with the discovery of new forensic details, stories of you know, children being spotted in various different parts of Europe, people taking DNA evidence from glasses incase it was Madeleine. How are you dealing with that on a day to day basis?
 
Kate McCann: Longish pause If I'm honest, we don't read the papers very often, small kind of suppressed laugh ermm, an, and, that's largely because at the beginning, ermm, anything we did read or anything we watched on the television, there's so much speculation and inhales audibly speculation is upsetting and it, it doesn't help us, you know, so we, we t-try and veer away really. inhales audibly Ermm, the good thing that I'd say about the sightings, I mean we don't hear about them all Jenni, but the good thing is it, it just you know, it, it says to us that people are still looking and that's really important, so we'd encourage that.
 
Jenni Murray: What do you remember Kate of the last day you spent together as a family?
 
Kate McCann: Longish pause and than a large intake of breath and tongue clicking noise I mean, we'd had a brilliant holiday, we'd had a really good time, the kids had had a fantastic time, Madeleine herself had had a ball. Inhales audibly Ermm, exasperated sigh Again I can't go into specifics about the actual day, but, ermm, you know, Madeleine was very happy, y.. you know, we hadn't done anythink out the norm of that week. Ermm, small pause you know, she, she, was just very happy really, and, you know, my last memory of her is being very happy.
 
Jenni Murray: We've read that she told you what a wonderful time she'd had that day....
 
Kate McCann: Yeah
 
Jenni Murray: .... How important is that for you to hold on to?
 
Kate McCann: That's on, that's really important. I mean, it, I mean it was obvious to me that she'd had a really good week anyway. Ermm, it just so happened that on the Thursday she said that was the best Kate emphasises on the word 'best' day of the week she'd had. Ermmm, and, you know, she was quite tired but she was happy and tired. And, erm, I mean, that's how I remember Madeleine.
 
Jenni Murray: Was she sleeping when you left her?
 
Kate McCann: Long Pause and huge intake of breath Ermmm, yes she was, slight low breathing out noise yeah.
 
Jenni Murray: Lots of people would have asked you this question. You will have gone over this question in your mind over and over again, but Why Did emphasise on the 'why' and 'did' you think that night that three such young children would be safe, alone in the apartment whilst you went out?
 
Kate McCann: Audible intake of breath I mean it's a good question Jenni, and it's not..like.. I don't keep going over that in my head, but I think the fact that I went for dinner, ermmm, and obviously we were checking on 'em very regularly, ermm, inhales audibly says to me that I obviously felt it was incredibly safe. If I'd have had to think for one second emphasise on the word second whether that was ok it wouldn't have happened. Ermm, now why did I feel it was that safe? I could only assume I mean, I mean, I don't know if you've been out to Praia da Luz, it's a very happy, ermm, calm, ermm, place, and it actually feels incredibly safe. I mean I've never been to Portugal before, but a lot of my friends and family have, and they go because of it's a family friendly place inhales audibly and I can only assume that you know, possibly I was lulled into it, a false sense of security, I don't know, but, doe's a kind of tongue clucking noise, then inhales audibly evr..everybody knows too we..we were dining very closely to where they were and we were checking them very regularly, and voice raise here like it takes on a more positivity tone to it the reason that we were then tone returns to as before checking them regularly Jenni, was just incase emphasise on the words 'just incase' very fervently somebody woke up, which they don't usually do.
 
I mean I never thought for one minute, and who would? You don't think for one minute that something as awful as this would happen.
 
Jenni Murray: How did you discover that she wasn't there?
 
Kate McCann: Longish pause then tongue clicking noise Again I can't go suppressed sounding laugh into too many details, but obviously when I went back to check on them, ermm, she wasn't there.
 
Jenni Murray: And what was your first......Kate cuts into Jenni's question
 
Kate McCann: And I knew ....
 
Jenni Murray: Jenni cuts back in .... What was your first thought, what did you think immediately had happened?
 
Kate McCann: Pause, then the tongue clicking sound Wellll, I, I, obviously, I kind of looked and double looked and, errmm, pause you know, there was that sort of twenty seconds of 'yeah she must be there', suppressed kind of laugh errmm, but there was no doubt in my mind, withinsuppressed sort of laugh probably thirty voice raises then lulls again for the word 'thirty' seconds, ermm, that Madeleine had been taken from that room.
 
I can't go into the reasons why I thought that, but it was inhales audibly no doubt whatsoever. Longish pause And Madeleine wouldn't have walked out herself. I know that The words 'I know that' spoken with an air of complete cocksuredness about them.
 
Jenni Murray: We've read repeatedly that that you are someone who really does hate being in the public eye, you're a very private sort of person.
 
Why then did you and your husband launch emphasise put here on the word 'launch' such a high profile publicity campaign after Madeleine disappeared?
 
Kate McCann: I mean what, what, what you said about me, Jenni, is absolutely true, I mean, I, I don't like, you know when you think public eye. I, I'm, I don't particularly, I don't like having my photograph taken, I don't like doing interviews, I don't like doing presentations. But inhales audibly It's not about me, d'ya know what I mean? It's not about me, it's not about Gerry, it's about Madeleine. And we all do absolutely inhales audibly anythink and everythink, err, which we think might help Madeleine... help find Madeleineinhales audibly and, you know, we don't know if we've done the right thing, we've just done what we felt was the right thing to do and that was to publicise Madeleine's disappearance, and try and get as many people looking as possible. And if that means I have to put myself in the public eye, well I have to get over that and do it.

Jenni Murray: But how much do you worry, as some people have suggested that it maybe can be counter-productive, that it could motivate her abductors to hide her away?

Kate McCann: Longish pause, then tongue clicking noise, then audible intake of breath I mean we always knew, ermm, there was a slight risk of that, and to be honest Jenni, I mean, everything we've done since Madeleine was taken has a slight risk, and I mean, that's, that's a horrible situation to be in, to be having to take risks and to think that something you, you do could possibly jepodise her, but, you know we had to make a decision and audible large intake of breath we couldn't sit and do nothink and we honestly felt that it's the best thing to do. And what, what, what we have heard recently from NICMEC, the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children, in Washington, was they totally backed what we've done, they've said 100% you have done the right thing. An..and their experienced, Doe's a kind of tongue clicking noise so.

Jenni Murray: Why do you .... Kate interrupts Jenni's question, Kates's talk is unaudible here, but Jenni carries on asking her question anyway .... do they think it, why do they think it's the right thing?

Kate McCann: Ermm, well, just, just, for an example, I mean obviously your NICMEC see, ermm, you know, the good stories as well as the bad, and, you know, they're involved in children that are actually retrieved, and one in six of those children that are retrieved is because somebodies recognised the poster of that child. inhales audibly You know NICMEC have been, you know, been going for twenty four years now, and there's a huge number of err, abductions, it's very sad there's a huge number of abduction in, in America, so they have got a great deal of experience.

Jenni Murray: Why did you choose to stay in Portugal?

Kate McCann: Quite Long Pause and then a very audible intake of breath For me, err, And I know this may be possibly no logic attached to it. sound very much like a suppressed kind of laugh here I just feel a bit closer to Madeleine here, ermm, and obviously we're closer to the investigation here.

Audible intake of breath Ermmm, I know some of that might sound a little bit audible short intake of breath bizzare, I don't know, but ermm, you know, because we, we don't know where Madeleine is? She could be anywhere, ermm, and there's no reason to say that she's closer to me here in Portugal than if I was in the UK. Urmm, I mean, I'm also aware that there's things that practically, err, might be easier err, at home, but, if, ah, ah, it's just a gut feeling really, and at the moment this is the right thing for us to do. I don't know how we'll feel Jenni tries to interrupt with a question that starts 'D.. do y' but Kate continues to finish her previous reply in a month's time or you know later.

Jenni Murray: What about the twins though? I wondered how worried you might be that your focus is so much on Madeleine and perhaps not quite enough on the younger children.

Kate McCann: Longish pause and then the tongue clicking noise I mean, Shaun and Amelie you know, but we're very aware of their needs and you know the first four or five days, you know, it was, it was very difficult to us, to en, to function, ermm, audible intake of breath and obviously we were very reliant on family, family then, to, to, to help us with the twins as well. Err, I mean, the huge emotional and physical impact, that sort of accute grief reaction had, is, you know, undescribable really.

Audible intake of breath Ermm, but now w.. we spend a huge emphasise put on the word 'huge' here amount of time at the twins, I mean, they, you know, they certainly wouldn't get to spend this amount of time with Gerry if were at home and he was working. Audible intake of breath Ermm, you know, they, they go to the kids club in the morning for a couple of hours, which is a little bit like the nursery at home and they get to do lots of creative things as well as sort of swimming and things like that. Short audible intake of breath We tend to spend the whole afternoon with them and the evening until they go to bed. So any work or meetings that we have, get done in the morning or late in the evening. Ermm, but th.. they're very, very happy, they've always been surrounded by loving, protective family and friends if we're not there. And we've taken professional advice as well, just to check that everything we're doing for them is, is thought to be correct.

Jenni Murray: How have you explained to them what might have happened to Madeleine.


Kate McCann: Tongue clicking and audible large intake of breath We haven't had to to be honest, I mean, th.. they've only just turned two and a half, ermmm, ermm, you know, and th.. they don't have any concept of time. I mean they're very aware that Madeleine isn't there. Ermmm, and they, they, they have commented that they missed her, errmm, and obviously th.. there's photographs of Madeleine, you know, around the accomodation, we talk about Madeleine a lot, err, they refer to Madeleine's things, you know, sort of Madeleine's bag, Madeleine's Cuddle Cat, and they include her in their play. You know, they'll say a biscuit for Shaun, a biscuit for Amelie, a biscuit for Madeleine. Ermm, but we haven't at this stage had to go into any details, and to be fair Jenni, we haven't actually got very small pause a story we can tell them at the moment, because we don't know what's happened to Madeleine. All that I've said to them is that we're, you know, w.. we're looking very hard for Madeleine, but even things like that, that, you know, it's a split second thing and then they're off playing with Noddy or you know, whoever. You know, they don't, they don't dwell on it, they're actually very happy and don't appear distressed at all.

Jenni Murray: How hard is it for you though when they seemed to be reacting as if Madeleine in any way is still there?

Kate McCann: Pause, then tongue clicking noise and audible intake of breath I mean sometimes it does catch me, obviously, urmm, you know, if it's sort of unexpected and they suddenly start talking about her, ermm, ermm, but I, but I'm pleased they're talking about her, I don't want them to forget Madeleine I want them to, you know, for Madeleine to remain very much in their memory, so ermm, does kind of tongue clicking noise yeah, occasionally it catches me, but it's good that they're talking about her I think.

Jenni Murray: It seemed to those of us looking on, as if it it's been an incredibly hectic time for you when some people might think your, you know, I might have just wanted to retreat home. You've been travelling the world, how helpful is the activity?

Kate McCann: Quite long pause then audible intake of breath I mean I think it does help. I mean there's, you know, we discovered from the minute that we realised that Madeleine had gone, how awful, helplessness feels. Ermm, so we've basically just tried to stay focused and positive and think of, and take advice, but think of anythink that we feel might, benefit, big emphasise on the words 'might' especially and also 'benefit' ermm, you know, of, of us finding Madeleine really. Errmm, and obviously by keeping active by publicising her disappearance, ermm, we've felt we've done that, certainly for Gerry, ermm, he has been, he's coped much better when he's been doing something, when he's been focused.

Jenni Murray: And what in fact has it had on your relationship with your husband, I mean especially if he's the one especially whose benefitting from going, rushing around the World and you're at home with the Children?

Kate McCann: Yeah, I mean, to be honest I haven't been many trips Jenni, where we've been seperated. I mean I know he went to Washington, but that was only a few days, and obviously at home Gerry has to go to conferences and stuff, so there isn't, there's nothing out the normal here from that point of view. Err, we're lucky that we've got a very strong relationship, we've always had a strong relationship, and ermm, I mean communications always been important for us and we're well aware that it's vital at the moment. Ermm, you know, we've got strengths and weaknesses you know, we reach different points at different times I guess, but we're managing to keep togerther and pull each other through when we need to.

Jenni Murray: And how do those strengths and weaknesses balance themselves out? I mean, what, what strengths and weaknesses does Gerry have and what strengths and weaknesses do you have?

Kate McCann: Very long pause, tongue clicking noise and a large audible intake of breath Ermm, I mean, you know, as I've mentioned before, sort of Gerry's strengths, he's used to speaking in public, ermm, and he handles that very well, ermm, exasperated sigh Mine, I don't really like talking about my strengths too much. said with ta kind of laughbut, ermm, you know, I mean I'm happy kind of doing you know, s.. some of the kinds of perhaps the domestic stuff, as well you know, the cooking. Ermm, I mean the important thing really is whatever we've done we tend t.. to pair up as a team. Ermm, you know when Gerry went to Washington we felt it was better that one person went rather than both of us. Ermm, but it was vital for us to kind of audible intake of breath keep in, ermm, contact regularly throughout that time, so often, we were on the phone three to four times a day just so I could be aware of, you know, who Gerry was meeting, what was getting discussed, or if there was anything that between us we needed to decide we could. Audible intake of breath And I think we're a very good and equal partnership really.

Jenni Murray: How do you get through the time between the frantic activity, the quiet times and the nights?

Kate McCann: Yeah, ermm, they often are as I say, very much with, with
err, with Shaun and Amelie. So, audible intake of breath you know, we're usually playing with them, sort of role play or reading stories or you know we're go for a walk, or they'll go for a swim or something, so, I mean that's, you know, very much as normal as we're going to get at the moment.

Ermm, evenings usually y.., you know, they're going to bed a little bit, the twins are going to bed a little bit later than would be normal at home. Ermm, tongue clicking noise and a large audible intake of breath so, often we just kind of, ermm, we have the usual nighttime stories and then as I say one.. once they've gone to bed, we'll usually get on and do a little bit more work really.

Jenni Murray: Do you sleep at night?......

Kate McCann: ..... Kate interupts Jenni, just as Jenni gets her question acrossWe tend to, we tend to have, replies to Jenni's question with 'Yeah' then carries on dinner together, certainly still lunchtimes and evening meals are spent together as a family. And I describe those as very normal.

Large audible intake of breath Ermm, sleeping through the night, yes. I do actually. I mean, the first four or five days was ermm, does that tongue clicking noise I didn't sleep really, ermm, as I mentioned earlier it was very hard t.. to function at all. Ermm, but now I'm fine, actually I don't I'm usually quite tired to be honest by the time we get to bed. But I haven't had any problems sleeping.

Jenni Murray: How much hope do you still have that you will find Madeleine alive?


Kate McCann: Longish pause, tongue clicking noise and audible intake of breath I do still have hope Jenni, in fact I probably have more hope now than I did right at the beginning. Ermm, it's also very important to hang on to that hope really, I mean it's so important to stay focused and positive and audible intake of breath you know, we haven't had any news to the contrary that Madeleine isn't alive, you know, and th.. and that's very important audible intake of breath and there have been many cases of Children that have been found, ermm, much later than this, so again that's reassuring, so the hope's still there.

Jenni Murray: And at what point do you think you and Gerry will have to accept that it's time to come home and pick up the pieces?

Kate McCann: Audible intake of breath Again I don't know, I mean that's very much a day by day, week by week thing really. And I can only audible intake of breath think that when the time is right, I'll know. Certainly at the moment it feels right to be here. But, as I say things might change and suddenly it'll be lright to be at home. It's very, ver.. very difficult one to predict really.

Jenni Murray: And how will you deal with the guilt that will probably stay with you forever of having left Madeleine alone?

Kate McCann: Very long pause, tongue clicking noise and a large audible intake of breath I have actually come to terms a little bit with, with that Jenni, I mean, you know, audible intake of breath I know the ermm, exasperated sigh I know the situation that we were in that night and I mean, I've said all along I didn't feel I was taking a risk.

large audible intake of breath Ermm, yeah, I, I, I, I do feel desperately sorry I wasn't with Madeleine at. that. minute. when she was taken. Ermm, I'd also like to mention I've had so much support from so many people, I've had so many letters and comments sent me .. sent to me from other families and particularly other mums saying, you know, we have done what you've done a hundred times over, do not blame yourself. Ermm, does tongue clicking noise and certainly when I'm in my car and when rational moments Jenni, I know how much I love my children, and I'm, I know how responsible I am and that's what I have to hang on, hang on to really.

Jenni Murray: and wha.. when you look at the sort of work that Gerry's done, particularly in America, and there's sort of people you've been in contact with who have real expertise in these matters, what sort of lessons can be learned from what's happened to you?

Kate McCann: Very long pause, tongue clicking noise and a large audible intake of breath,then a very audible exasperated sigh I mean, I think it, it's important that the general public are informed really, as the scale of the problem, you know, I.. I'd like to think I'm a fairly well read person and, ermm, I was horrified really of you know, the things that I've learnt about since this happened. Ermm, ....

Jenni Murray:Jenni interrupts Kate's answering, with another question .... What sort of things are you horrified by?

Kate McCann: The scale of the problem, err, the number of children that are abducted, ermm, you know, the, for example just, I mean, I think the problem that we have a little bit in Europe is there's just, statistics aren't all there basically. Ermm, but I, I had some statistics passed on to me from PACT, which is err, Parents and Abducted Children Together. And in England and Wales alone, and that's just England and Wales, ermm, sort of the 2002 -2003 year, there were a thousand, ermm, attempted Stranger abductions. Does a kinf of tongue clicking noise Now, a hundred of those just under 10% of those, ermm, were does a kind of tongue clicking noise actual abductions. I don't like to use the word successful even though I think that's probably the word that's used, but a hundred children were taken by Strangers. Longish pause and then carries on in a matter of fact manner/way to fishish the sentence And as I say, a thousand were attempted. I mean, I, I think that's huge just for England and Wales. And we don't know what the scale of the problem is in Europe.

Ermm, I think it's really important that people, parents, know these kind of things and just to take extra care. I mean, hopefully, what, you know, we'll be able to do things that might change some of these things. That might improve things, make the World a little bit safer for children, but in the meantime I think parents should be aware really and just take extra care.

Jenni Murray: And what sort of lessons do you think authorities need to learn from the way, what happened to you was handled?

Kate McCann: Long pause and then tongue clicking noise and large audible inhaling of breath Ermm, I think they need to be, exasperated sigh err, have systems in place across Europe, really, for a, a quick response to a child that's gone missing, and particularly a child that's been abducted. Ermm, and it probably needs to be a Europe wide response. Ermm, there's other things as well, I think all Countries in Europe should have a Sex Offenders Register, and probably, ermm, CRB checks should be in place throughout Europe.

I mean a lot of what I've learned to make comparants... comparisons with are obviously, err, the imformation that's come from the States. And, err, they do seem to be a little bit ahead, quite a bit ahead rather, ermm, with reacting to situations like this.

Jenni Murray: What's next for you now, Kate? Er, I mean, I know you don't want to go into any details of the current investigation is all forensic discoveries, but immediately now, where do you go from here?

Kate McCann: Longish pause, then tongue clicking noise and large audible intake of breath Well you know, I just hope Jenni, fr.. you know every day I'm hoping that we don't get to the next one. And, I mean it is true when I say we really just try and deal with it one day, ermm, and then the next ermm, and take it as it comes really. I mean, you know, I don't feel I can go through anything worse than this. In my life, you know, so, I feel I can probably handle most things now.

Jenni Murray: when ever we see you in a picture, you're, you're carrying Madeleine's toy with you.

How important is that that you keep that close?

Kate McCann: You know Cuddle Cat, Cuddle Cat's with me now actually Low laugh at the moment. I mean, Cud.. Cuddle Cat was err, is very special to Madeleine, and, ermm, she took it to bed every night and she tended to have it if she was feeling tired or if she was feeling unwell. And because it was special to Madeleine, it's special to me. And, ermm, you know, it does provide me with a little bit of comfort.

Jenni Murray: I was talking to Kate McCann.

Audio: Kate McCann talks to Steve Boggan, 10 August 2007
Audio: Kate McCann talks to Steve Boggan Guardian 
 
Madeleine McCann, three, went missing from an apartment in a Portuguese holiday resort 99 days ago. Her mother Kate McCann tells Steve Boggan why she and her husband Gerry remain optimistic. (5min 06s)
 
August 10, 2007 1:57 PM
 
'I went into the room and Madeleine wasn't there'
 
Madeleine McCann, three, went missing from an apartment in a Portuguese holiday resort 99 days ago. Her mother Kate McCann tells Steve Boggan why she and her husband Gerry remain optimistic. (5min 06s)
 
Listen Now 
 
Transcript:
 
by Nigel Moore
 
Steve Boggan: Tomorrow, Madeleine McCann will have been missing for a hundred days. The 3-year old went missing from a holiday apartment in the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz as her parents, Kate and Gerry, dined with friends nearby. Kate McCann told the Guardian's Steve Boggan about the moment she returned to the flat and discovered that Madeleine wasn't there.
 
Kate McCann: We were checking on the children several times an hour and, errm... I'd gone back to check them and, you know, it was quiet and, errm.... I went into the room and, errr... Madeleine wasn't there, errm... you know, and I just thought... kind of, kept looking, kept thinking she must be, she must be in her bed and, errr... and that was a horrible, errm... panic and fear, errm... I mean there are other things that I can't... I can't describe to you because it's part of the investigation but, errm... I mean, there was not... there was no shadow of doubt that Madeleine had been taken to me and that's why the panic and the fear was so immediate and real and, errm... it was awful, you know, and, errm... you know, I guess I felt I'd let her down - desperately sorry, really, errm... that we weren't there the minute she was taken... you know, and we went from the kind of the... the panic and the fear to that total feeling of helplessness... you know, not knowing what to do and, errm ... it was just awful really.
 
SB: This week the Portuguese police were examining spots of blood in the apartment, but the McCanns remain optimistic.
 
KM: I mean, in the first few days we really thought that was the worst and it was just awful, it... I mean, it was just the worst experience ever, errm... now I guess it's... it's... you see, there's probably a lot more hope now than we... than we did in those first few days and, errm... don't get me wrong, we're not blinkered and, errr... obviously you... we still have those dark thoughts but they're not helpful, you know, they're not helping us, they're not helping Madeleine.... and sometimes you've just gotta... blank them out. I guess, if we're honest, you know, if Madeleine wasn't alive now then we'd rather know that... but then, you know, we don't know that, you know and we're very... hopeful, in fact we're probably, as I say, more hopeful than we were at the beginning. And what we don't want to do is look back and regret not having done absolutely everything we can.
 
SB: Some people in Praia da Luz want the McCanns to leave. They say their continued presence there is bad for the town's image, but Kate McCann told the Guardian, they're staying put.
 
KM: I mean, it's a difficult one and I think you'll just know when the time's right, I mean, it's... I mean, it's not right for me at the moment, erm... but I do feel closer to Madeleine here, here close to the investigation. We don't know where Madeleine is, you know, and there's no reason to... to say that she's close to here than she is to the UK but it's just... it's just... it's just a feeling I have at the moment. There are day's when you think to yourself, how am I managing to function here and I can assure people from outside looking in, cos I know I've done it myself in the past when there's been sort of similar cases or things that have happened to children, you think how does anybody cope with that. And you can't understand how anyone can function, and certainly like the first four days we didn't, you know... didn't eat, didn't sleep and errr... you know... eventually your body comes back to normal a little bit... but you have to, you have to keep going, so... I mean, errr... as soon as I wake up I'm aware Madeleine isn't there, you know, and I usually... and I always say a very quick prayer to myself before I get up and... obviously we've got Sean and Amelie so, errm... they get up fairly early and it's a case you've gotta make things as normal as possible for them, you know, and they need love and protective parents as well.
 
SB: Relations between the McCanns and the Portuguese media have deteriorated in recent days, with hostile lines of speculation about the couple.
 
KM: I mean, the criticism's very hard, you know and... and... you know, it's very hurtful. It's totally unhelpful. Errm... uhhh, I mean, it's, you know, I mean, considering what we're going through already and how awful it is... it... it does seem very cruel but, I mean, when I'm kind of thinking logically, I think, you know, I know that this is a small group of people, you know. A huge majority of the public are behind us and they've been fantastic and... I'm so, so grateful for, you know, everyone that's come up and wished us well. You know, I've had thousands of letters from, you know, other mums and stuff and, errr... every line of every letter they've written has helped us, it's helped us get through another day. You know, you've got to remember who's committing the crime here, it's the... person that was watching us and broke in and took Madeleine out of the bed.

Kate talks to Women's Own magazine, published 13 August 2007
Kate McCann said, responding to a question that Madeleine may be dead: "I've never liked uncertainty. And this is the worst kind of limbo."

"Gerry and I have spoken about this and in our heart of hearts we'd both rather know - even if knowing means we have to face the terrible truth that Madeleine might be dead. We both need to know."

Kate said Madeleine was a strong child - but she wished her daughter had her "Cuddle Cat" with her. Mrs McCann has been pictured clutching the toy when appearing in public.

She said: "She has a lot of personality and her name actually means 'tower of strength'. But she hated it when we called her Maddie - she'd say, 'My name is Madeleine', with an indignant look on her face."

"I bet she's giving whoever she's with her tuppence worth."

She added: "In a way I wish they'd taken this with her (Cuddle Cat). It would be a comfort to know Madeleine had something she loved, wherever she is."

She said Madeleine was permanantly in her mind - and she was just going through the motions of life.

"Whenever I laugh with the twins or eat something nice - it's always there in the back of my mind, 'Madeleine would love this'."

"I suppose I'm really just going through the motions of life hoping, every night when I go to bed, that this will be the last day I'll have to get through without her."

She also responded to criticism of her and her husband for leaving their three children alone in their flat while they dined in a nearby restaurant on the night Madeleine disappeared.

Mrs McCann said: "I ask myself, 'Why did I think it was safe?' But it felt safe. You don't expect a predator to break in and take your daughter."

Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: Open Letter to Kate McCann, 24 October 2007
Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: Open Letter to Kate McCann The Daily Profiler
 
Criminal Profiler, Pat Brown
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
 
As a criminal profiler, I have also sometimes been criticized for theorizing about a case I have not personally been privy to the actual facts from inside the investigation. As I do a lot of television commentary, this is quite often the case for me; I only can theorize based on the "facts" outlined by the media. Therein lays the difference between public speculating and true criminal profiling as part of an investigative team. The latter is going to be one hell of a lot more accurate!
 
Still, all is just theory until the crime is solved. Everyone doing the analyzing and paying attention to this theory and that knows that any "determination" is only based upon the validity of input. The only harm theorizing can do is if the police detectives theorize incorrectly about the evidence or bring in an expert who theorizes incorrectly and bases the entirety of their investigation decisions on this particular theory. If, on the other hand, the theory is accurate, then the investigative avenues will be pursued correctly, or, if the theory is interesting but not necessarily correct, the police will pursue a number of investigative strategies to cover all bases.
 
Are the PJ doing this? I haven't a clue. I cannot assume they are any way inferior to other police departments in the UK or in the US or elsewhere in the world. Each department consists of individuals and it is a roll of the dice as to how good these particular individuals are at investigative work. I remember when Natalee Holloway went missing in Aruba, folks from the fine state of Alabama accused the Aruban authorities or incompetence and shouted how if Natalee had gone missing in the United States the case would have been solved quickly. Bunk! We have an ungodly high rate of unsolved murders and missing people here in the US, a good number of them right in Alabama. Fact is, some cases are hard to solve and some cases have detectives who are all that bright. Other cases have better evidence or top notch detectives. It isn't a perfect world.
 
So, what do we know so far in Maddie's case? Not much. We have zero clue about the evidence or the veracity of the witnesses. All we really have so far are the unvarnished public statements by the McCanns and I don't mean the ones reported by the media in print as those can be misstated by the journalists (and I know this because I often quite displeased when I read in print some completely twisted version of what I told the reporter).
 
So, all we can truly be sure of is what the McCann's have stated on television or radio or in Gerry's blog. Even their PR team's information is a bit questionable if we can't hear it being said.
 
Before I comment further, I want to reiterate that the McCanns, while suspects in the disappearance of Maddie, are not legally charged with any crime. Therefore, they may be totally innocent of hurting Maddie in any way. But, I will also say, we as adults and members of the human race are also responsible for the way we behave and the things we say, so we must also take responsibility for the way other view us.
 
Therefore, based only on what the McCann's said or written. I have some advice for the McCanns. SHUT UP! I have some advice for their PR team. Tell the McCanns to SHUT UP!
 
 
OPEN LETTER TO KATE MCCANN
 
Yes, Kate,
 
It isn't your breast size or weight that is causing your problems. It is you and your narcissist evaluation of the situation and your PR team's equally stupid assessment of the situation that is making you look so bad in the public eye.
 
I am a criminal profiler with years of experience dealing with parents of murder victims and missing relatives. Your behavior and the behavior of your husband fall far outside or the norm for grieving parents. Now, this may be because you are just terribly narcisstic folks who had nothing to do with your child going missing (outside of neglecting your children and putting your needs to party before their needs for comfort and safety, a narcissistic behavior if I have ever seen one). You and Gerry may simply be so narcissistic you have no understanding of how other people view your behaviors and your PR team may share your narcissism so that no one on your team has a clue to normal human behavior.
 
But, SHUT UP! Every time you open your mouths you do more damage to yourselves. You seem guiltier by the day. Your attempt at "damage control" is so obvious and so very much a day late and a dollar short, everything you do or say seems a cover up and a transparent attempt at proving your innocence.
 
Let me make clear what I think is weird about what you say and do:
 
You choose words about Madeleine's disappearance which make it appear you know there is no abductor and that Madeleine is dead.
 
Both you and Gerry state your only guilt in the matter is not being their when Madeleine "was taken." This statement makes no sense for abduction as Madeleine could not be taken if either of you were with Maddie when an abductor would have shown up. It makes more sense in the context that Maddie died while you were not in the apartment.
 
Your statements and attitude about Madeleine being alive do not square with parents who really believe their daughter is in the hands of a pedophile or pedophiles who are brutally raping and torturing her daily.
 
Your attempts at "finding" Madeleine do not represent the manner most parents would choose if they were actively searching for a live child but appear more to be the actions of parents trying to prove after the fact of a child’s death that they "cared" (not care) about her.
 
Your behaviors of "keeping a normal routine" and "keeping up one's appearance" is admirable, but extremely bizarre. I don't know any other parents of missing children who can appear so together and cheery. When my daughter cooked our kittens by accident in the dryer, I cancelled Christmas.
 
Gerry's blog creeps people out. It is too upbeat. Terrified and distraught parents of missing children are rarely able to jog and play tennis and go to park with their other kids and have a fun time. Over a long period of time, maybe, but this is usually years after the nightmare begins. Some parents never recover from the trauma and it is common for marriages to fail and the brothers and sisters to feel their parents went absent after their sibling went missing.
 
Your ability to sleep at night after the first five days, Kate, is beyond belief. It is the behavior of one who already knows the answer and even then, is quite a narcissistic trait. If you believed your daughter was being raped as you lay in bed at night, sleep would be very hard to come by. I guess you finally realize this and your mother is saying that NOW you can't sleep and Madeleine comes to visit you in the night. What changed, Kate?
 
Your PR team coming up with an answer to every accusation, answers that are ludicrous in themselves, makes you seem awfully defensive, and, if there is no way you or Gerry had anything to do with Maddie's disappearance, you have nothing to defend. Furthermore, if all you care about is finding Maddie, you shouldn't be wasting your time on such silliness. After all, as Gerry said, Maddie is the only important thing, right?

So, SHUT UP, Kate. SHUT UP, GERRY. Fire your PR team as they are totally worthless. If both of you really are innocent and you think Maddie is alive, return to Portugal. Start searching for real (and it took six months to set up a hotline?). Cooperate with the police. Take the polygraphs as you have zero to hide and, with competent polygraph examiners, the questions are so simple you can't screw them up. I will even give you the four questions that should be asked:
 
"Did Madeleine die while you were present?"
"Did you return to the apartment and find Madeleine dying or dead?"
"Did you move Madeleine's body at any time?"
"Did your spouse move Madeleine's body at any time?"
 
These are simple questions. The answer to all of them should be "No." There is no ambiguity in these questions (unlike a question such as "Do you feel responsible for the disappearance of Madeleine?" which you could if you acknowledge leaving her without an adult caretaker is irresponsible; an affirmative answer to such a question would be useless to the detectives as it could falsely indicate that you had something to do with Maddie going missing when you are only feeling guilty over leaving her unattended. Also, an affirmative answer could mean you simply do not feel responsible for what happened to Maddie no matter what happened to her as a total narcissist might).

The above four questions are simple and unambiguous and even a narcissist can't misconstrue the meaning of the questions. The answers will be a simple "Yes" or "No." Have the polygraph session videotaped so the police will be unable to do any underhanded scare tactics or interrogation that might distort the results of the tests.

Quite frankly, Kate, you and Gerry had everything going for you as parents of a missing child if you hadn't left your children unattended night after night to go out partying. THIS is what made people dislike you. It was to your advantage that you are both relatively attractive people because IF you had big breasts and a porky physique and were not well-heeled professionals, you would have become suspects right off the bat and you would have not had the incredible monetary support you have been blessed with nor all those kindly letters. You would have been viewed as just a pair of slobs who probably abused their children as well as neglected them and you wouldn't have gotten the phenomenal amount of publicity worldwide concerning Maddie's disappearance. Other parents have gone public, run campaigns, and had web sites, but your fortune with publicity and support has been unprecedented. And, you complain, Kate, that people are treating you badly because you are fit! It was being fit and professional and well-off that got you so much attention. It was you and Gerry's fitness as parents and your peculiar behaviors that got you the negative attention.
 
I have a final suggestion. Ask the PJ if I can come analyze the case. My organization will send me pro bono. As a criminal profiler I can analyze the actual evidence to advise the investigators as to the best investigate strategy. I have no problem determining this crime as an abduction and finding the creep that took Madeleine if the evidence points that way. I don't have to like you and Gerry as people to view the evidence in an impassionate and professional manner. No one should be convicted of a crime simply because of personality and because people don't like the individual's personality. Solid physical and circumstantial evidence must exist to the point where there is no question as to who committed the crime. I would work very diligently to assist the PJ with the evidence and the facts and do a thorough crime scene analysis that would move the case forward.

Furthermore, if you and Gerry get charged in Madeleine's disappearance and must truly defend yourselves, my services are available to you and your lawyers. I will be more than happy to analyze the evidence and, if you are innocent, do all I can to serve in your defense.

Good luck, Kate. May the truth be brought to light soon and you and Gerry get the justice you deserve in the case of your missing daughter.

All the best,

Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: Why Does Kate McCann not make a Plea to Maddie's Captor?, 25 October 2007
Criminal Profiling Topic of the Day: Why Does Kate McCann not make a Plea to Maddie's Captor? The Daily Profiler
 
Criminal Profiler Pat Brown
Thursday, October 25, 2007
 
In the recent interview with the parents of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann states she believes Madeleine is alive, essentially unharmed, and being cared for in someone's home. If Kate really believes this, then there is a glaring omission in her use of the media.
 
It is extremely abnormal for a mother who thinks her child has simply been taken by some lonely person and being cared for in a nice, little house to not reach out to that person with a message, over and over again. After all, this would be one way to get your child back. Here is how that kind of message usually goes:
 
"If you have Madeleine, please return her to her family. I know you may love having Madeleine with you but her Mommy, her Daddy, and her sister and brother are in great pain being separated from her. Please, please, let us have her back. Please take her to a public location where there are lots of people around like a McDonalds or a library or a hospital and drop her off. You can do this anonymously so you do not have to worry about being noticed. We are not interested in having any action taking against you; we just want our little girl at home with us. Thank you for taking good care of her and please send Madeleine back to us."
 
But, instead, no plea to her captor? Very, very bizarre.
 
Which remind me: I have never heard of an expert telling parents to be unemotional in a plea to a kidnapper so as not to amuse them. Personally, I have to say most pleas are a waste of time and will have no effect on a psychopathic kidnapper. But, if one wanted to make a plea because one really believed the abducted child was not already dead or being tortured in a dungeon, that the child was with some nutty woman who just had to have the pretty little thing, then an emotional plea would be just the thing to try to jog the woman's conscience to return the child.
 
Criminal Profiler Pat Brown

The Flash! interview

Kate McCann: My struggle to control 'very difficult' Madeleine, 17 September 2007
Kate McCann: My struggle to control 'very difficult' Madeleine Daily Mail

Last updated at 19:06 17 September 2007

Kate McCann has revealed that she struggled to control Madeleine McCann after the birth of her and Gerry's twins, it was revealed today.

Missing Madeleine would run around 'screaming...shouting for my attention', the mother-of-three said.

In an interview given to a Portuguese magazine before she was named as a suspect in the case of the four-year-old's disappearance, Kate also said the first six months of Madeleine's life were "very difficult" and that the girl had suffered from colic.

The revelations come as police said they were trawling through Kate's medical records amid suspicions in Portugal that she may have had a history of depression.

The detailed analysis of her medical notes could provide them with significant evidence against the GP, who is a suspect in the case of Madeleine's disappearance.

Speaking about Madeleine's upbringing, Kate, a 39-year-old GP, told Portugal's Flash! magazine: "She cried practically for 18 hours a day. I had to permanently carry her around."

This period explained "the strong bond between mother and daughter", she said.

Although the arrival of the twins Sean and Amelie shook up Madeleine's life, she accepted them very well, said Kate.

"She managed to deal perfectly with this new reality, although she herself at the time was still a baby.

"The worst thing is that she started to demand lots of attention, especially when I was breast-feeding them.

"She would run up and down screaming in the background, shouting for my attention."

Mrs McCann also insisted that she and her husband were "truly responsible parents" and had committed no crime.

Speaking of the night Madeleine disappeared, she said: "I was sure immediately that she didn't walk out of that room. I never doubted that she had been taken by someone.

"I went through a phase of guilt for not knowing what happened to her. I blamed myself for thinking that the place was safe.

"But the certainty that we are truly responsible parents has helped me carry on.

"I know that what happened is not due to the fact of us leaving the children asleep. I know it happened under other circumstances."

Asked about whether she and her husband were responsible for their daughter's disappearance, she said: "It cannot be considered a crime. Someone committed one, but not us."

Portuguese newspapers continued to report today that Mrs McCann will be re-interviewed in the UK this week by British police on behalf of the Algarve authorities.

But a spokeswoman for the McCanns said the couple had to date received no request for new interrogation.

The judge in the case, Pedro Daniel dos Anjos Frias, rejected prosecutors' request to have the McCanns brought back to Portugal for further questioning, the Correio da Manha said.

He insisted that the fresh interviews should be carried out by British police in the UK, according to the paper.

The re-interviewing will only take place when further DNA testing in Birmingham is completed, either tomorrow or Wednesday.

A letter of appeal will be sent to Britain, setting out all the questions Portuguese detectives want to ask the couple, along with the evidence supporting their hypothesis, the Correio da Manha reported.

A source told the paper there was only a "very low" probability that Portuguese officers would be allowed to sit in on the interviews.

A McCann family spokeswoman said today: "We have been in touch with the lawyers to try and get a steer on what is in the Portuguese papers.

"They assure us we have had no request to date for any further questioning, either from the Portuguese police or in the UK."

She could not say whether the McCanns' legal team was expecting the couple to be re-interviewed.

Since Kate and Gerry McCann were named as official suspects last week, there have been suggestions in Portugal that Madeleine was given drugs on the night of her disappearance.

The accusations have been strenuously denied by the couple but have not been ruled out by police. Although the order to seize medical files came from the Portuguese authorities, the background searches are being carried out by Leicestershire police.

A copy of Mrs McCann's diary has also been seized by police, who are now waiting for permission from the judge to seize and dismantle the McCanns' hire car so they can search for "traces of skin".

It has been reported that DNA evidence with a match to Madeleine was found in the Renault Scenic 25 days after their daughter vanished.

Yesterday it emerged the McCanns are trying to knock down potential evidence retrieved after two British sniffer dogs, capable of detecting blood and human remains, were used in the investigation in August.

One of the dogs picked up a "scent of deathî on items ranging from Mrs McCann's clothes to Madeleine's favourite soft toy Cuddle Cat.

Leaked reports from the investigation have suggested that Madeleine's parents could have accidentally killed her and then disposed of her body using the car. Although they do not know the full details of the Portuguese prosecutors' case against them, the McCanns are concerned that it may rest on the dog's reaction.

The couple's legal team has now consulted the lawyers of an American man accused of murdering his estranged wife in a case where "cadaver dog" evidence was central. They want to highlight the judge's dismissal of such evidence in the high-profile Eugene Zapata murder trial in Madison, Wisconsin.

Mr Zapata's estranged wife, flight instructor Jeanette Zapata, was 37 when she vanished in October 1976 after seeing her three children off to school.

Her body has never been found. Detectives suspected Mr Zapata of involvement in her disappearance but did not charge him because of a lack of evidence.

Police decided to conduct new searches using cadaver dogs and Mr Zapata, 68, was charged with firstdegree murder last year after the dogs indicated that they had scented human remains in an underfloor crawl space at the former family home and other properties linked to him.

But the judge ruled that the dogs' ability to detect remains was too unreliable, noting that no remains had actually been found.

Kate McCann: 'Madeleine cried 18 hours a day', 18 september 2007
Kate McCann: 'Madeleine cried 18 hours a day' Daily Mail

By PAUL HARRIS
Last updated at 17:55 18 September 2007


Kate McCann has told of how Madeleine cried for 18 hours a day as a baby and demanded constant attention when her twin brother and sister were born.

In an interview with a Portuguese magazine, the 39-year-old GP is reported to have discussed her daughter suffering from colic and how, at 20 months old, she reacted to the birth of twins Sean and Amelie.

Mrs McCann's intention seems to have been to illustrate how she and Madeleine bonded so closely during those early years, when mother and daughter were rarely separated.

But her interview was seized on by detectives as valuable evidence in the profile they are building of her.

Officers are seeking medical records to build up a case that she was incapable of controlling four-year-old Madeleine - and that the strain could have provoked her into violence while on holiday in Praia da Luz.

The question of Mrs McCann's relationship with her children first arose last week after the Portuguese press published details alleged to have come from a diary she kept in the Algarve.

The diary extracts purported to demonstrate that she admitted she struggled to cope with her children, and had difficulties with Madeleine because she sapped her strength and emotions.

Mrs McCann's interview with Flash! magazine was conducted before she and her husband Gerry were named as suspects in the case and before the diary details were published.

In it, she spoke openly about her experiences in being a mother to Madeleine, candidly admitting that the first six months with her were "very difficult".

She explained that Madeleine frequently suffered from colic as a baby and, as a toddler, demanded a lot of attention after the birth of the twins.

"She cried practically for 18 hours a day," she said. "I had to carry her around permanently."

This period explained "the strong bond between mother and daughter", she said.

Although the arrival of the twins shook up Madeleine's life, she accepted them very well.

Mrs McCann is quoted as saying: "She managed to deal perfectly with this new reality, although she herself at the time was still a baby."

Her interview emerged as the police case against the couple appeared to be crumbling because of doubts over the reliability of any forensic evidence.

Sources told the Daily Mail that officers may even research information on Munchausen's syndrome by proxy - the condition can compel parents and other adults to harm children.

It has become a routine line of inquiry in child murder investigations since the case of Beverley Allitt, the hospital nurse who killed four children in 1991.

Allitt was convicted in 1993 on 13 charges of murder and causing grievous bodily harm.

Those suffering from the condition often have a high knowledge of medical practice.

In the context of this case however, the suggestion was being seen as another attempt to blacken the McCann name and put the couple under pressure.

In the interview, Mrs McCann insisted that she and her husband were "truly responsible parents" and had committed no crime.

Speaking of the night Madeleine disappeared, she said: "I was sure immediately that she didn't walk out of that room.

"I never doubted that she had been taken by someone.

"I went through a phase of guilt for not knowing what happened to her. I blamed myself for thinking that the place was safe.

"But the certainty that we are truly responsible parents has helped me carry on.

"I know that what happened is not due to the fact of us leaving the children asleep. I know it happened under other circumstances."

Asked about whether the decision to leave them meant she and her husband were responsible for their daughter's disappearance, she said: "It cannot be considered a crime.

"Someone committed one, but not us."

CNN Transcript, 18 September 2007
CNN Transcript CNN.com

Aired September 18, 2007 - 14:00   ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED

(...)

CLARENCE MITCHELL, MCCANN FAMILY SPOKESMAN: Kate and Gerry want the process to be as open and transparent as possible. They have nothing to hide. And if -- I stress, if any case is finally put to them as a formal accusation, then they will defend themselves robustly. Until that happens, they have nothing to say about reports of how the investigation is or isn't going.

LEMON: Our prime time team, our "AC 360" team of course "Keeping Them Honest." And our Randi Kaye joins us now from the McCann's home town of Rothley, England.

Hi, Randy.

RANDY KAYE, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Good afternoon, Don. As you just heard there, Clarence Mitchell speaking earlier today here in Rothley about the McCanns. In fact, he said that he does believe they are innocent. And they're willing to go to Portugal because they have nothing to hide and they are willing to give more interviews.

Right now the judge there in Portugal can decide -- has to decide actually by Friday what to do with the McCanns. He can put them under house arrest. He can call them back to Portugal for more questioning. Or he can leave them here to be questioned by police here in the U.K. That decision has not yet been made.

But as far as the McCanns go, they're still continuing to get some mixed press both here in the U.K. and in Portugal. The papers this morning in London certainly were more in their favor than they have been.

But there's a Portuguese magazine called Flash, and they are saying that Kate McCann had given them an interview, now it's unclear through the family spokesperson when this interview was given, if it was done before or after she and her husband were named as suspects.

But in this interview according to the magazine, she said that the first six months of Maddie's life were very difficult. She cried practically for 18 hours a day. "I had to permanently carry her around." The magazine also said that Kate told them that after the twins were born, Madeleine started to demand lots of attention. "She would run up and down screaming in the background, shouting for my attention."

Now the spokesperson does confirm that Kate McCann did speak to that magazine, but says that is not what she said. The spokesperson says that Kate told him Kate did not complain to the magazine at all about Madeleine being colicky or demanding more attention.

On the ground here, we continue to talk to family and friends who are still coming out in support of Kate and Gerry McCann, saying they are wonderful parents.

(...)

With thanks to Nigel at McCann Files

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