Kate McCann says the guilt she feels at failing to keep missing daughter Madeleine safe  

KATE McCann says the guilt she feels at failing to keep missing daughter Madeleine safe has made her “over-protective” towards her twins. 

She strives to allow seven-year-olds Sean and Amelie some freedom, but “inevitably wants to mollycoddle them”. 

Kate’s confession of her struggle to do what is best for the twins came as Madeleine would have turned nine yesterday. 

The GP, who quit working in a surgery because she didn’t want the twins left alone with child carers, said: “It’s so difficult not to be overprotective towards Sean and Amelie.  

“It is inevitable, but you have to fight against it to let them develop. You have to get the balance.”  

Husband Gerry said: “I am certainly more protective than I was, but you can’t mollycoddle them. They have to be independent. What happened to us is incredibly rare.”

Kate told how she and Gerry would always feel “that sense of guilt” at leaving Madeleine, then aged three, and the toddler twins alone in a Portuguese holiday apartment while they dined at a nearby tapas restaurant with friends. On that fateful night five years ago Madeleine vanished. 

In an interview with a Swedish magazine, Kate said: “At times we have felt so desperately guilty. As Madeleine’s parents we had failed to keep her safe and will always struggle to bear that guilt. 

“If the same thing had happened to another family we would have been amazed they had left their children alone. And we’re guilty! There are so many times we chide ourselves for doing that.” 

She believes her daughter could still be found alive and dare not say the word “dead,” adding: “I know the worst thing ever could have happened to Madeleine, but I don’t want to think about that. 

“While there is nothing to suggest she has come to any harm we will continue searching for her. Any mother and father would do the same. We cannot give up.” 

Madeleine’s pink bedroom at the family home in Rothley, Leicestershire, remains “full of gifts from kind people” and is visited by Kate every day.  

She said: “Not a day goes by without me saying good morning to her and good night to her.” 

The room is still a play haven for the twins. “Sean and Amelie often play in Madeleine’s room. They feel close to their big sister there. 

“The uncertainty is there all the time, and Madeleine is always there in my head.”