DESPITE the fact that Christmas now seems to start in October, a new report claims we didn’t actually feel “Christmassy” until Thursday this week.

Well, bully for us, because while we’re stressing out over presents, trees, decorations, food and the lack of money to buy it all with, there are some for whom Christmas is a damn sight more painful.

On Monday I went to the Missing People Christmas Carol Service, dedicated to the memory of those who won’t be home for Christmas and, in some cases, haven’t been for years

I don’t need to tell you that their eldest daughter Madeleine has been missing for over four years now, her presence replaced by a continuing ache.

It’s hard to utter throwaway ­salutations on seeing someone again when you know their suffering never ceases. A simple phrase like “how are you?” can suddenly sound like the elephant in the room, when the answer “how the hell do you think they are?” booms away inside your head.

They must know there’s a sense of “what to say/ what not to say” when encountering them, because the McCanns are ­great at making people feel ­comfortable.

Gerry has got a brilliant sense of humour, which must have been his secret weapon during the years following Madeleine’s ­disappearance. That and his obvious love for Kate, whose hand he held throughout the service.

We talked about Madeleine and of how her disappearance is very much a part of her twin brother and sister, Sean and Amelie’s, lives.

Heartbreakingly, Gerry told me that one of the six-year-olds had said: “Will it be a good Christmas this year, even though Madeleine’s still not home?”

It’s hard to sing a Christmas carol when someone has told you that, let alone to stand at a lectern and deliver a heart-tugging reading when you’re the one living the nightmare.

You could hear the profound silence as Kate read words from The Beacon by Simon Armitage: “... somewhere out there there has to be life, the distance only a matter of time, a world like our own, its ­markings and shades as uniquely formed as a daughter’s eye, distinctly flecked, undeniably hers, looking back this way through the miles and years...”

So while most of us are looking forward to spending time with loved ones next weekend, just imagine what it must be like to live Christmas in a never-ending limbo.