The last Christmas I ever spent with my daughter, Madeleine, is a very vivid memory for me. She was three-years-old then and at nursery had just started to learn some Christmas carols. She also loved doing the accompaniment to Dean Martin’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I can still hear her singing it now. For her present that year we had bought Madeleine (and her younger brother and sister) a kitchen station which we wrapped with a bow and left for her to find when she came downstairs.

I remember seeing her face when she walked in. She was beside herself. She was so excited and got straight to work preparing us all a meal. That was a lovely moment. I have bought a Christmas present for Madeleine every year since then but that toy cooker was the last one I ever saw her open.

In May 2007 she went missing from our rented family holiday apartment in Praia da Luz in Portugal and has never been seen since. This Christmas will be the 11th my husband and I have spent without our daughter. For families like ours who have to live with the agony of a missing child – or indeed any relative – Christmas can be a hugely painful time.

The festive period is a time to be together as a family and for most people is such a happy occasion. That almost expected joy makes it even more difficult for those that are suffering. You learn over time that you simply have to make the best of it and lean upon the support that is out there – wherever it comes from.

The charity is there every hour of every day. Without them people would be totally lost. The Missing People charity team are simply very normal, genuine, caring people that you could come and have a cup of tea with. I’m sure that’s part of the secret to the charity’s success. We often talk about our missing persons ‘community’, or ‘family’ and every Christmas get together for our annual carol service at St Martin-in-the-fields united in our emotion and hope. 

We are all cushioned and supported by the presence of each other. Unless you have experienced what families like ours have it is impossible to describe the anguish of missing a loved one. I know without the support of so many we would not have made it this far. We have found that support in many places. A candle still burns for our daughter in the village and Madeleine and all missing children still get mentioned in prayers at our local church – and in many others I’m sure. 

With so many things in the world to pray for just now, we are very grateful for this. At times the pain of losing our daughter has been almost too much to comprehend. You don’t know how strong you are until you have no option. Gerry and I are united in our aim of finding Madeleine and our love of our children and making life as good as possible for them.

It doesn’t mean there aren’t times when things are emotional, testing or strained. But we’ve got through it so far. In spite of how hard the festive season has been for our family over the years our younger children are still really excited about Christmas and that’s lovely to see. I have to remind myself to be cheerful and get into the Christmas spirit with them. I suppose I have learnt over the years that it’s important to have enjoyment yourself too and, more than that, it is OK to try.