On 14 September 2008, the News of the World published extracts from 'Kate's Diary'. The newspaper claimed that the
135-page 'journal', written on an A4 pad, had been passed to them by a Portuguese reporter.
When it became apparent that Kate had not given authorisation for its release, the online article was instantly
removed. Both The Sun and the News of the World published apologies and made an undisclosed payment to Madeleine's
Portugal's best-selling daily newspaper 'Correio da Manhã' had already serialised extracts from the diary during July
2008 without comment from the McCanns.
|News of the World, 14 September 2008
political pressure, 26 July 2008
Revelations – Maddie's mother's notes prove Gonçalo
26 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
The English prime minister called the couple directly and the British diplomacy took care of the travelling
"To increase the political pressure". The phrase, by Kate McCann, written among the notes that were found
in her house and which the Polícia Judiciária (PJ) had apprehended, is clear about the manner in which Maddie's parents intended
to manage their daughter's disappearance, bringing it into the press' first pages and turning it into a case with political
On the morning of the 23rd of May 2007 (twenty days after Maddie's disappearance), before they left for the
Sanctuary of Fátima, Kate and Gerry left Gordon Brown a message. Maddie's mother describes it as a form of "raising the political
pressure" and reveals that the present Prime Minister – at that date, he was not in functions but had already been confirmed
as Tony Blair's successor – answered her only three hours later. He spoke with Gerry, was "very sympathetic and gave
strength", tells Kate, who describes the visit to the catholic sanctuary as overwhelming, potent and emotional.
the same day in the afternoon, Gordon Brown called Maddie's parents again. Kate's notebooks do not report the conversation
but one is able to understand that the purpose was to create political pressure, forcing the PJ to act swiftly.
Today, at more than a year's distance from the child's disappearance and after the case has been archived,
Kate's notes expose the pressures that were reported by the former coordinator of the case, Gonçalo Amaral, who from the moment
when he was removed from the investigation, realised that the process would not produce an accusation.
With an investigation
that was initially inclined towards the abduction theory, partly forced by the McCanns, the evidence of the pressures by the
couple also explains the British press' posture in the coverage of the case, mainly from the moment when Madeleine's parents
went from victims to suspects and arguidos. With the British prime minister himself supporting the McCanns, through direct
and frequent phone calls that are revealed by Kate, it became almost impossible for the English government to help an investigation
that had indicated the parents as guilty.
Apart from the contacts with Gordon Brown, Kate's notebooks reveal other important allies. From the hiring of Clarence Mitchell,
who at that point in time worked for the government, as an assistant, until the conversations with the wife of Tony Blair,
the former British Prime Minister.
Mitchell actually had a pivotal role in the propaganda machine that was built by
the McCanns within a few days, and which counted on the great help from the British diplomacy in all the trips that were carried
out by Kate and Gerry.
The first and most media-exposed [trip] – to Rome, to be received by Pope Benedict XVI – was
suggested by the assistant, on the 27th of May, after speaking to Francis Campbell, the British ambassador at the Vatican.
"Rome is already preparing itself", Kate wrote, anticipating that visit as what would become the "main" news on that day.
One day later, the visit and the audience with the Pope were already confirmed, with a program that was prepared in a detailed
On the 30th of May, after leaving the British consulate in Rome, Kate and Gerry, accompanied by the ambassador,
made a strategic stop "for the photographers to catch an image looking at the Basilica", and continued towards the Vatican,
where they spent a few minutes with Benedict XVI. A moment that was described as very emotional, positive and important, and
that summoned "loads of" journalists and photographers, which is definitely a concern that is always present with the couple.
After Rome, Madrid, Berlin and Morocco followed, trips with the purpose of publicising Madeleine's face
and which always relied on passages through consulates or receptions by British ambassadors and political representatives
of the corresponding countries.
According to Kate's notes, the days started or ended with meetings, phone calls and
emails. Cherie Blair, the wife of Tony Blair, Gordon Brown's predecessor, was one of Kate's contacts, as demonstrated by the
reports of the 17th of July. Before Kate gives Sky News an interview, she speaks with Cherie, who agrees to make a 20 second
videoclip about Maddie for the English channel. On that same day, Blair himself pledges assistance and makes himself available
for whatever is needed.
"Left a message for Gordon
Brown to call us in order to increase the political pressure" – Kate McCann, 23rd of May
"Gordon Brown called
and spoke with Gerry – very sympathetic and gave strength. Somewhat emotive feeling afterwards" – Kate McCann,
23rd of May
"Clarence spoke to us about a possible visit to the Vatican. Rome is already preparing itself. Francis
Campbell was spoken to" – Kate McCann, 27th of May
The ambassador's solidarity
On the 4th [of May], only hours after the alert of Madeleine's disappearance was
given, Kate wrote in her notes that the English ambassador, John Buck, had been in the apartment offering them his solidarity.
She also noted the presence of two employees from the consulate and stressed the strong presence of the media on location.
"There is news appearing in the United Kingdom", Maddie's mother remembered, also noting the "worrying" and "boring" presence
of Yvone, the English social security technician who tried to understand whether there was anything in the family's life that
might explain the child's absence.
It should be referred that on that very same day, the ambassador met with senior
officials from the PJ to understand the outlines of the case.
Abduction theory – On the first days after Maddie's disappearance, on the 3rd of
May 2007, the abduction theory was the only one that was mentioned in the news. "Give back our Madeleine", the parents appealed,
not admitting any other possibility.
Visit to Fátima – Twenty days after Maddie's disappearance, the
McCann couple went to pray at the Sanctuary of Fátima. But before that, they called Gordon Brown in order to increase the
Brown's pressure – Only five days after the McCanns' contact with the British prime
minister, Gordon Brown's pressures on Portugal because of the Maddie case were already known.
McCanns at the Vatican
- The trip to the Vatican and the audience with Pope Benedict XVI were suggested by advisor Clarence Mitchell, who mobilised British
diplomacy in order to take the McCanns to Rome.
of Kate: Walks were staged, 27 July 2008
|Click to enlarge
Notebooks of Maddie's mother reveal tactics with the British press
27 July 2008
Kate and Gerry McCann have controlled the media reporting their daughter's disappearance. In order not
to be criticised by the British Press, Madeleine McCann's parents offered photoshoots, some of them during their usual morning
walks – which were apparently routine but turned out to be pre-arranged, as Kate's personal notes reveal.
Get all the exclusive details in the edition of 'Correio da Manhã' this Sunday
Maddie case – Press was manipulated
in exchange for photoshoots
27 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
The McCann couple took four hours to outline their strategy, went out for walks on request from the
British photographers and escaped the Portuguese
Kate and Gerry McCann controlled the British media in the news coverage of their daughter's disappearance.
In order to avoid criticism from the English press, Maddie's parents offered photoshoots, some of them during their usual
morning walks in the Algarve – which were apparently routine, but previously arranged, as Kate's notes reveal.
British journalists were annoyed because they found out too late that I had been in the United Kingdom. It ended up with Justine
receiving loads of phone calls and arranging for a photoshoot on the way to the church, to pacify them", Kate writes on the
5th of July, revealing a tactic that was adopted in the first days after the 3-year-old girl disappeared.
"Dress up and go for a walk. It had been requested by photographers and agreed that for sentimental reasons
it would be good". This walk happened on the 7th of June, three days after Kate registered that she had been "annoyed" about
the presence of Portuguese journalists outside the apartment. Before that, on the 19th of May, the photoshoot for the English
newspaper 'Sunday Mirror' was previously arranged: "Us spending time with the twins for the Sunday papers".
same notes, Kate expresses distress about the Portuguese and the German journalists. On the 11th of June, in Morocco, after
Kate made a positive evaluation of the trip because there were so many photographers present, the doctor remembers "noticing"
Portuguese journalists. "We didn't want to give them a story", decided the McCanns, who classify the questions from the Portuguese
as "sleazy and unexpected", even after preparation meetings that last "four hours": "I was very angry at a journalist today.
I told her not to do so much detective work."
Concerning the editor of the 'Sun' newspaper, on the 11th of July Kate
was assured that there would be no "adverse publicity": "She was really nice. Perfect solution", Maddie's mother noted.
Clarence replaced Justine when the tension rose
Clarence Mitchell was the first one to offer his face for the McCanns. He met Gerry on an occasion when
the latter was returning from England, at the end of May 2007, at a time when he was part of the Consular Assistance
Group, representing the Foreign Office. He took over the couple's defence on the 22nd of May, but returned to England in the
mid-summer, when he was replaced by Justine McGuinness, who directed the campaign to search for Madeleine from the 22nd of
The tensions between the McCanns and Justine were never evident. But the fact that she abandoned the
couple's defence immediately after they were made arguidos and returned to England, remains unexplained.
Now, it becomes
clear that the tension came from before. Justine and Gerry had already discussed the honoraries. The advisor wanted to receive
overtime and demanded a payment that was above what had initially been agreed.
On the 28th of July, the tension between
the family and the spokeswoman was obvious. Kate wrote in her notes that she [Justine] did not have good "interpersonal aptitudes"
and that she could even be very "unpleasant". Kate remembered that there had been an argument between Justine and a relative
and that Gerry had tried to calm them down. "It all ended well", Kate McCann concluded, but still seriously doubted the advisor's
Journalists far away from the house
The McCanns' first days in England were subject to intense media attention. They allowed themselves to
be photographed with their children again, after they had agreed exclusives with televisions and newspapers to cover the return.
later, Clarence Mitchell opted for another strategy. He agreed with the English journalists that those would never persecute
the McCanns again. In exchange, the couple's spokesman would supply fortuitous meetings, and in case the journalists would
fail their compromise, he would exclude them from his contact list.
Everyone accepted. When in March CM [Correio da
Manhã] tried to speak to the McCanns without going through Clarence Mitchell, we were intercepted by the police. The couple
demanded that Portuguese journalists be forbidden from getting close to their house, and their neighbours were advised
not to speak.
Robert Murat sues the McCann couple's friends
Murat, the first arguido in the case of the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, is going to sue some of the McCann couple's
According to news in yesterday's edition of 'Sol' newspaper, the Anglo-British citizen is going to advance
with complaints over the crimes of perjury and slanderous denunciations, alleging that the English lied in the depositions
that they gave to the Polícia Judiciária with the purpose to incriminate him.
Robert Murat, who is going to receive
hundreds of thousands of euros in compensation from 11 British newspapers, was made an arguido only 11 days after the little
girl disappeared, on the 14th of May 2007, after several friends of Kate and Gerry McCann referred his presence in the Ocean
Club apartment on the fateful evening of the 3rd of May 2007, in Praia da Luz.
Gerry is brilliant – "Gerry was brilliant again", Kate wrote in one of her
usual accounts after the meetings with journalists, during which it was her husband who did the talking.
14 months ago – Madeleine McCann disappeared 14 months ago from the apartment
where she was on holidays with her parents, in the Algarve, on the evening of the 3rd of May 2007.
Case archived – The investigation started by focusing on the abduction theory
and then on the possibility of an accidental death followed by the concealment of the cadaver. The process ended up archived.
Tomorrow: How Kate McCann lived the first day without Maddie
Kate irritated with the PJ on the first day, 28 July 2008
Kate's notes - Mother of Madeleine did not like to be interrogated
28 July 2008 - 00h30
Kate McCann did not like the Policia Judiciária.
On her first day without Maddie, a few hours after having seen her daughter for the last time in the apartment that they all
shared in the Ocean Club, the mother of the child did not hide her discomfort in front of the investigators.
Read all the exclusive details in Monday's edition of Correio da Manhã
Kate's notebooks - Madeleine's mother did
not like to be questioned
28 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
Reports of the first day without Maddie tell of discomfort when faced
with the investigators who searched for her daughter
Kate McCann did not like the Polícia Judiciária. On the
first day without Maddie, a few hours after she had seen her daughter for the last time, in the apartment that they all occupied
in Praia da Luz, the child's mother didn't hide the discomfort in face of the investigators.
In her writings, which
were apprehended months later by the same PJ, Kate complained about the treatment that she had been given during her first
questioning: "Nobody offered us a drink or food. All the policemen were informally dressed and smoking. No sympathy was shown.
[…] The police officer who drove us to the PJ was asking me questions and then he typed them down. Slow", says Kate,
who also didn't like the fact that she had to return to the Judiciária a short while later.
"We got a phone call from
the PJ saying that we had to return. We turned around and returned at 200 kilometres per hour. Scary once again", Kate continues,
sparing the rest of the police forces no criticism. "The GNR appeared without being certain of their role – they seemed
to be doing nothing", she underlined.
Kate equally didn't like to speak to Yvone, the English Social Security employee
who worked at the Department of Child Protection and who later told the Leicester police that she had found the behaviour
of the parents and of one of the friends to be strange. "Also Yvone. A bit boring, worrying, because I didn't know who it
was", Kate reported.
In the same writings, and still remembering the 4th of May (the notes started to be written at
a later date, allegedly upon medical advice), Kate McCann recollects that the British ambassador offered her help. And that
there were also technicians from the consulate on location, and Madeleine's mother remembered a conversation with Robert Murat,
during which he told her about his daughter and her similarities with Maddie.
Notes of Kate McCann
The GNR appeared uncertain about their role. They seemed to be doing nothing.
Nobody presented the police. No one offered us a drink or food. All the policemen
were dressed informally and smoking. There was no sympathy shown and it was far from reassuring.
We left with the PJ and they drove at an exaggerated speed. I was very angry. Needless, frustrating, I
felt so powerless."
British woman wanted to help the couple
Yvone was on holidays in the Algarve when she heard
that Maddie had disappeared. The technician, who is an expert in cases of endangered children, rushed to offer her help, but
later guaranteed to the police that she had not been well accepted. Yvone also said that David Payne, one of the friends,
had advised the McCanns not to speak to her. She found the parents' behaviour strange.
Kate admits her daughter's death
Despite having only admitted it publicly in August, Kate
assumed the possibility that her daughter was dead on the day after the disappearance. "Is she dead?" she questions herself
in her notebooks, in a register of the 4th of May, after she was heard at the PJ in Portimão. The hypothesis that her daughter's
disappearance is connected with paedophilia also haunted her: "Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to pull the skin off."
Police in force in the Algarve
During the first days after
the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, the Polícia Judiciária only admitted the theory of abduction of the little girl in
public, and mobilised extraordinary means into the Algarve. The directory of Faro, which is directed by Guilhermino Encarnação,
was joined by brigades from Lisbon and elements of the Central Directory of Banditism Combat (DCCB), including its director,
With the investigations centred on the abduction theory and with extraordinary means mobilised, alerts
were sent to the borders, to the airports and to the Spanish authorities.
The PJ even asked for the population's cooperation
to find Maddie, and one day later, Guilhermino Encarnação guaranteed that he already had a photofit of the child's [abductor],
which would not be publicised.
Praia da Luz and its surroundings were patrolled by GNR men, car stop operations were
set up on the roads that exit the Algarve, and the garbage collection was also followed.
A total of approximately one
hundred men from the Polícia Judiciária were moved into the Algarve as early as in the first few hours after the disappearance
of Madeleine McCann, which happened on the evening of the 3rd of May.
The McCanns' relationship with the suspects
Kate's Maddie diaries leaked, 28 July 2008
Kate's Maddie diaries leaked The Sun
Published: Today (28 July 2008)
EXCERPTS from Kate McCann's diary covering the first agonising weeks after
daughter Maddie vanished have emerged.
They show that the desperate mum left messages asking PM Gordon Brown to
"increase political pressure" to aid the search. After he phoned 40-year-old Kate and husband Gerry, she noted that Mr Brown
was "nice and supportive" — but that she "felt a bit emotional after".
The pages were obtained from police files by a Portuguese paper.
Maddie, now five, went missing in the Algarve in May 2007. Disgraced police
chief Goncalo Amaral, 48, has made fanciful claims in his new book that it was impossible to conduct the inquiry due to political
pressure brought by the McCanns.
Family spokesman Clarence Mitchell said last night the claims were "distorted
Meanwhile, shameless Amaral said yesterday he may write another book about
Kate tried everything to accuse Murat, 29 July 2008
Kate's notebooks - McCann's and friends against the Anglo-Portuguese
29 July 2008
Kate McCann tried everything to blame Robert Murat for the disappearance of her daughter, and with that
objective in mind and the help of friends, committed herself to finding evidence to convince the Polícia Judiciária
about the involvement of the British-Portuguese.
Get all the exclusive details in this Tuesday's edition of 'Correio da Manhã'
Kate's notebooks - McCanns and friends against the Anglo-Portuguese
29 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
Madeleine McCann's mother engaged in collecting indicia that would lead to the accusation of the Anglo-Portuguese
[man] over the little girl's disappearance
Kate McCann bet everything into blaming Robert Murat over the disappearance of her daughter, and it was
with that purpose in mind and with the help of friends that she engaged in collecting evidence and in convincing the Polícia
Judiciária of the Anglo-Portuguese [man's] involvement.
On the day that Murat is made an arguido, already after friends
of the McCanns referred his presence in the surroundings of the apartment on the evening of the disappearance of Madeleine
to the authorities, Kate registered in her notes that she had become "very hopeful, excited about this".
later, Kate, who met frequently with the PJ during the investigation, writes that "Robert Murat continues to be the main suspect".
"For good reason", she adds, lamenting that there is not "strong evidence".
When three of the friends are called to the PJ to repeat their statements following
contradictions about the presence of Murat at the Ocean Club, on the 11th of July, Kate tries to excuse her friends with the
fact that they were questioned in the presence of the Anglo-Portuguese [man]: "What happened was that they were questioned
in the room, sitting beside Murat and his lawyer. He apparently said that they were lying, which made them quite angry. They
started thinking that he was certainly involved. What was he hiding???"
In her notes dated July 18, almost two months
after Maddie's disappearance and at a time when there are starting to appear indicia against the McCanns, Kate sounds disheartened
and reinforces the accusations against Murat: "I had lots of hope that there would be progress in Murat's situation. I'm sure
that he is involved and I feel like killing him, but I can't". Nine days later, Madeleine's mother receives a message from
a woman that tells her that Murat tried to photograph the granddaughter of a friend, also three years old and blond, and Kate
sends "the whole" information to the PJ. "I'm certain that he is guilty and I just want to scream", she writes on the 27th
Premonition with Malinka
Sergey Malinka, aged 23, had been
living in Praia da Luz for eight years. He was a friend of Robert Murat – one of the first suspects of the disappearance
of Madeleine – and he ended up becoming involved in the turmoil of suspects because he was the last person to contact
the Anglo-Portuguese [man] after the child disappeared. He was also close to Murat because he set up the online page for Romigen
– the company that belonged to the Anglo-Portuguese and to Michaela Walczuch.
Although Malinka was only heard
as a witness, he ended up becoming involved in the abduction. The questioning was hard and outside the PJ, the agents' irritation
could be heard because the questions remained unanswered. His phone was tapped, just like Murat's, but nothing relevant was
In her notes, Kate refers to Malinka as one of the persons involved in the little girl's abduction. The first
indication is dated June 5 and also concerns Murat. "Robert Murat continues to be the main suspect and for good reason, but
unfortunately there isn't strong evidence. Malinka and Michaela are also very much in the scene. I always had a bad premonition,
uncomfortable, about Malinka. He is cold", wrote Kate, who later on supplied information to Método 3, a Spanish detective
agency, telling them that a witness had seen Michaela transporting a child.
It is recalled that Malinka, of Russian
nationality, was heard by the PJ on the 16th of May, two days after Murat was made an arguido and the PJ searched his house.
Russian was damaged because there were equally suspicions in his past. Malinka reportedly engaged in sexual relationships
with minors, which turned him into a potential predator. The fact that he is a computer expert led the Polícia Judiciária
to admit that he might have abducted Maddie.
Jane Turnner (sic) guaranteed that Murat
Jane Turnner (sic), one of the Englishwomen that accompanied the McCanns on their holidays in Praia da
Luz, guaranteed after the first few hours upon the disappearance that she saw a man carrying a child walking towards Casa
Liliana (where Murat lived). Later on – and also facing the suspicions that befell the Anglo-Portuguese [man] - Jane
said she was almost certain that the man she had visualised for a few seconds only was in fact Robert Murat.
statement was considered to be credible during the first hours and strengthened the suspicions that befell the Anglo-Portuguese
[man]. Robert Murat ended up being the target of a search on the 14th of May and was heard at the PJ on that same morning,
denying any involvement in the child's disappearance. The lack of indicia ended up determining his release.
Notes of Kate McCann
News about Murat. Initially very hopeful, excited about this, probably too much.
Murat continues to be the main suspect and for good reason, but unfortunately there is no strong evidence.
I had lots of hope that there would have been progress in Murat's situation and that they had more things about him.
We have no understanding of it, is to lie with how many teeth have (Note: Currently seeking clarification on this sentence).
Thinking about it causes so much anger and hatred in me. I am sure that he is involved and I want to kill him, but I
I am certain that he is guilty and I just want to scream.
accused him – The English experts that elaborated the profile of the abductor guaranteed that in Murat's
case it fitted to 90 percent.
Accusations from friends - A former friend
of Murat gave the PJ a deposition telling that the Anglo-Portuguese [man] had strange behaviours when he was a child. It was
one more fact against him.
Touched documents – Called during the
initial phase of the process to work as a translator, Murat was caught by the PJ touching the inquiry's documents.
Tomorrow: Kate reacts to the police's first suspicions
McCanns pressure PJ, 30 July 2008
Kate's notebooks - English diplomacy in defence of Maddie's
30 July 2008 - 00h30
When the Polícia Judiciária suggested that the
apartment where Maddie had disappeared from might be contaminated, due to the responsibility of the parents themselves, who
failed to immediately contact the authorities, thus allowing for several persons to enter the bedroom, the McCanns set the
British diplomacy in action to "take care" of the matter.
Get all the exclusive details in Wednesday's edition of Correio da Manhã
Kate's notebooks – English diplomacy in defence of Maddie's
Ana Luísa Nascimento/Eduardo Dâmaso/Tânia Laranjo
30 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
Couple didn't admit any responsibility in their daughter's disappearance and called the British ambassador,
John Buck, to "take care" of the matter
When the Polícia Judiciária suggested that the apartment where Maddie
had disappeared from might be contaminated, due to the responsibility of the parents themselves, who failed to immediately
contact the authorities, thus allowing for several persons to enter the bedroom, the McCanns set the British diplomacy in
action to "take care" of the matter.
"How does anyone dare to insinuate that our daughter's life may be in danger because
of us?!" Kate writes in her notes dated June 17, showing she is "very angry". The McCanns didn't lose any time. "Gerry took
the matter up". Madeleine's parents only needed to "call the ambassador" and a few hours later they had the guarantee that
"the Portuguese police are going to publish a statement to clarify what was said".
"Olegário de Sousa was very
embarrassed", Kate writes in her notes, after the couple stated that they were "prepared to do whatever is necessary" if the
police didn't clarify Kate and Gerry's role in the investigation. Three days later, Kate writes that Olegário de Sousa needed
to "wisen up" and reveals that she feels they are "going nowhere".
The "frustration" with the PJ starts being registered
by Kate right after her daughter's disappearance. After an alleged sighting of Maddie in Morocco, on the 11th of May, Kate
accuses the PJ of not having acted swiftly enough and of not doing everything that they can, given the fact that when they
arrive in Marrakesh there are only images of the garage from the 14th onwards. "If the authorities had acted swiftly, we would
now hold this potentially important information. She deserves better. We need everyone involved to give their best", Maddie's
Bed remained intact
One of the criticisms that is
launched by Gonçalo Amaral in the book "Maddie, The Truth of the Lie", was the contamination of the apartment. The alert to
the authorities was given very late and the GNR didn't protect the collection of the first residues, either.
PJ arrived at the house, everything had already been rummaged. There were hundreds of fingerprints spread all over the apartment,
tens of useless residues that only made the lab technicians waste time.
One detail was, however, retained by the investigators.
The bed where Maddie had allegedly been abducted from remained intact. The child's soft toy was also impeccably placed next
to the pillow, in a scenario that seemed to have been set up. On the window through which Kate says the abductor took Maddie,
there were only her own fingerprints.
with a police employee: asking me where my little Madeleine might be…" May 14
"Very upsetting. If the authorities
had acted swiftly, we would now hold this potentially important information. She deserves better. We need everyone involved
to give their best" June 12
"How does anyone dare to insinuate that our daughter's life may be in danger because of
us?" June 17
English attacked Gonçalo Amaral
Gonçalo Amaral, the
coordinator of the Maddie case during the first five months, who never believed in the abduction theory, was harshly attacked
by the English press – which is controlled and manipulated by the McCanns.
The former Judiciária inspector, who
retired after a career of 17 years and published his theory about the disappearance of Maddie in a book, was removed from
the case on the 2nd of October, the day of his 48th birthday.
When the investigation quit being focused on abduction,
after the first DNA results and the action of the forensics dogs, Gonçalo Amaral was accused of being a "drunk".
English tabloids, even the more temperate 'The Times', wrote that the Portuguese inspectors at the Polícia Judiciária, [who
were] responsible for the investigation into the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, had two hour lunch breaks, during which
they ingested alcoholic drinks. Apart from the "well watered" meals, the British journalists accused Gonçalo Amaral of working
only four hours per day.
The case which revealed itself as less of an investigation than a political and diplomatic
process, ended up hastening the retirement of Gonçalo Amaral, who reports the pressures that he suffered, in the book 'Maddie,
the Truth of the Lie'. The former coordinator of the process remains convinced that Madeleine McCann accidentally died on
the evening of the 3rd of May, in the Ocean Club apartment where she was on holiday.
The McCanns controlled the English press – which constantly attacked the Portuguese police
– in order not to become the target of unfavourable news, and in exchange offered previously arranged photo shoots.
This is admitted by Kate in her notebooks, namely on June 15, when she arranged "a photo shoot on the way to the church to
pacify them". The editor of 'The Sun' newspaper guaranteed to Kate, on the 11th of July, that there would be no "adverse publicity".
"She was really nice. Perfect solution", Kate concluded.
Kate managed the relationship with the twins.
Kate tried to hide twins' tantrums, 31 July 2008
Kate's notebooks – Sean and Amelie were only 18 months old
31 July 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
The concern with the image was such that Madeleine's
mother became anxious when Amelie cried in front of the Portuguese journalists. Notes reveal some moments of tension
Kate McCann's notes are filled with details about the twin children and the manner in which they dealt
with the rest of the family. Maddie's mother tells about the children's everyday life and often reveals some tiredness over
the energy of the smaller ones. Sean and Amelie were born from 'in vitro' fertilization, just like Maddie, but apparently
they failed to notice their sister's absence. Kate often tells that her two smaller children kept their own routines and she
even reveals some guilty feelings over trying to get on with life with some normalcy.
It can also be perceived in some
of the writings that Kate wanted to avoid the tensions with her smaller children to become known by the media. Just like she
describes it about a tantrum from Amelie dated June 4, when the little girl started yelling in the car. "They fell asleep.
Sean instantly, Amelie only after throwing a big tantrum while we tried to sit her into the baby seat – all in front
of the Portuguese media!!! – and then we stopped on the way so we could cuddle them outside of the car trunk. I sometimes
worry that Amelie may be missing Maddie more than we thought. Maybe I'm being paranoid?", writes Kate, who on the next day
left her children in the crèche again. "After a shower and breakfast, take Sean and Amelie to the Kids Club".
14th of June, Kate shows her tiredness again, not only over Maddie's disappearance but also over the care that the smaller
ones demanded. "Sean slept with me most of the night after half an hour of hysterics at half past midnight", she reveals,
while three days later she complains again that her children now fall asleep at a later time. "I tried to take Sean and Amelie
to bed at around 7.30 p.m. but it took rather long again – especially AMELIE", Kate recognises.
On the 21st of
June, Kate is ironical about the children's behaviour: "Sean and Amelie's biological clocks seem to have changed now. They
go to bed later and they get up later!!! I think they are becoming Portuguese", says Kate, who on the 4th of May, during the
first questioning, guaranteed that her children always went to bed at 7.30 p.m.
"They fell asleep. Sean instantly, Amelie only after throwing a big tantrum while
we tried to sit her into the baby seat – all in front of the Portuguese media!!!" - June 4
"Again we wake up relatively late, around 7:30 a.m., preceded by notification of the
good morning by Sean and Amelie (...) After a shower and breakfast, take Sean and Amelie to the Kids Club." - June
"Sean slept with me most of the night after half an hour of hysterics at half past
midnight." - June 14
"Sean and Amelie's biological clocks seem to have changed now. They go to bed later and they get up later!!!
I think they are becoming Portuguese." - June 21
Photographed during walks
In her notebooks, Kate tells that the walks with the twins were agreed with the
English press. They were often photographed entering and exiting the apartment at the Ocean Club, in Praia da Luz.
Tension with her mother and support from her father
The disappearance of Madeleine McCann
generated several tensions within the McCann family, namely between the McCann couple, but Kate's notes clearly reveal that
the most difficult was the relationship with her own mother.
Despite the fact that her parents immediately travelled to the Algarve, just like several aunts that helped
to take care of the twins during the times that followed the disappearance of Madeleine, Kate only found support with her
In her notes dated June 8, 2007, Kate reports that she was "upset and angry" with her mother. "At this moment,
I could do without this kind of thing – I have enough to think about and emotionally exhausted", the doctor wrote, recalling
an argument during a walk with the twins in the Algarve.
Five days later, at a time when Kate's parents return to the
United Kingdom, Madeleine's grandmother shows her indignation with her daughter's attitude, at the same time when she ends
up being appeased by her father. In her notes dated June 13, Kate writes that her mother calls her complaining about not hearing
from her since the previous day, and saying she had "an awful day".
"I explained to her that I had been told that someone
had given us the location of my daughter's body. Did she know that? No!!!" Kate remembers, referring to a letter from a supposed
abductor that had been received at a Dutch newspaper. After the argument with her mother, Kate talks with her father, a conversation
that calmed her down: "Deep down, he was very strong and he said some very sweet things".
went to London to fetch diary
Kate McCann's diary, which is considered to be fundamental by the investigators
due to the fact that it reveals the profile of Madeleine's mother, led the Polícia Judiciária to England to try to apprehend
it but it was never validated as evidence and the process ended up being archived.
The document, which started to be written by Kate upon advice from a psychiatrist after her daughter’s
disappearance, was discovered by the police in the Ocean Club apartment, in the Algarve, and was initially photocopied and
analysed. But it was only in April, during their last trip to England, that the Polícia Judiciária was granted permission
to formally apprehend the original document, a fundamental diligence that had been requested in September so it could be valued
But the judge that held the process decided to postpone the validation of the diary, which therefore could
not be taken into account within the Polícia Judiciária’s investigation – and in the meantime, the Public Ministry
ended up archiving the case.
The authorities believed that Kate's notes revealed her personality, and therefore were
determinant for the investigation, but they ended up never being able to use them as evidence.
Initially, the police
only appended the copies of the document to the process, and the original was not apprehended because it juridically fitted
within the concept of private correspondence, which is subject to a stricter regime. Meanwhile, the McCanns returned to the
United Kingdom, which forced the Polícia Judiciária to request the apprehension of the diary through rogatory letters, which
took months to receive a reply.
Tomorrow: How they dealt with extortion
Note: The twins were actually 2 years and 3 months old when Madeleine was reported missing.
Kate McCann devalued clues, 01 August 2008
01August 2008 - 02h26
Kate and Gerry McCann were always suspicious about
the indications from strangers that guaranteed to know the whereabouts of Madeleine. In the cases when money was demanded,
Maddie's parents seemed to know that the leads were false, just like Gonçalo Amaral describes in the book.
everything in today's edition of the newspaper "Correio da Manhã"
Kate's notebooks - McCanns ignored contacts
Eduardo Dâmaso / Tânia Laranjo / Ana Luísa Nascimento
01 August 2008
Thanks to 'astro' for translation
The disappearance of Madeleine prompted dozens of contacts to the authorities
but the parents took none seriously
Kate and Gerry McCann were always suspicious about the indications from
strangers that guaranteed to know the whereabouts of Madeleine. In the cases when money was demanded, Maddie's parents seemed
to know that the leads were false, just like Gonçalo Amaral describes in the book.
In her notes, Kate always shows
her disbelief concerning the reliability of the information, while Gerry (the situation is described in the former investigator's
book) arose attention from the inspectors when, in the middle of a negotiation with a possible abductor, "he sucked on a lollipop
in a relaxed manner, while reading banalities on internet sites and discussing rugby and football with one of the English
One of the cases happened on the 14th of June, long before the three detentions over extortion attempts
were made, when the Polícia Judiciária received an email from an anonymous person who says he knows where Madeleine is. "Why are
there so many crazy and evil people?", Kate writes in her notes that same day, in a comment about the situation, which she
classified as something that could only be a "joke".
On the 28th of June, the process of the disappearance of Maddie
makes the first detentions in Spain, an Italian and a Portuguese, due to attempted extortion. "It's all a bit weird", Kate
comments. Five days later, Madeleine's parents receive a new email from the anonymous person who had established contact two
weeks earlier. In her notes, Kate reveals that she has no doubts that it can only be someone looking for money and she congratulates
herself over knowing that the man is going to be arrested: "I've had news about the Dutch extortionist – someone motivated
by money. Anyway, he is going to be arrested tomorrow!!"
The couple's behaviour when faced with possible leads concerning
their daughter's whereabouts, after a publicity campaign that went around the world and was built by the parents themselves,
arose the investigators' attention, namely during one of the first days when Kate, faced with the possibility of finding her
daughter, is upset about the speed that is attained by the police car.
Note's of Kate McCann
"We received a message from British police to go to the embassy. The Spanish police
had received a call from a guy, Walter, who had information, but wanted to talk with us." -- June 6
"An anonymous person sent an email saying they knew who had Madeleine. Why are there so many crazy
and evil people?" -- June 14
"The Dutch extortionist established contact via e-mail again today. Someone motivated by money." -- July 3
Process available on Monday
complete process concerning the disappearance of Madeleine McCann will be made available to anyone who manifests a legitimate
interest, from Monday onwards. That group includes the parties (arguidos, witnesses and lawyers) and also journalists, due
to the fact that this is a process of manifest public interest. Yesterday, the court invited everyone who had already made
a requirement for the process to deliver a CD to the secretary's office, so the digitalised process can be copied onto
From September onwards, the process will be available to the general public, and the investigation will be subject
to the most rigorous scrutiny. Still, the judge's decision ends up being surprising, due to the fact that this case involves
a minor, and there would always be legal artifices that would allow for the investigation to be 'barricaded'.
Lawyers want priority access to the documents
Abreu and Rogério Alves, the lawyers that represent the McCann family in Portugal, have requested the Portimão court for priority
in the access to the process. The lawyers have ensured that the access for the general public was postponed, so they can access
the original process and not a digital format.
Kate McCann was obsessed with getting her
children to sleep, 11 September 2008
Kate McCann was obsessed with getting her
children to sleep Antena3
Thanks to 'ines' for translation
The 140 pages of the diary of Madeleine's
mother, considered vital by the PJ for the investigation of the case, reflect a woman obsessed by her children's sleep, as
well as an extreme concern to place the blame on Murat and by what she describes as "sloppiness" on the part of the Portuguese
and British police.
"4th May. Barely having slept, I woke Amanda. Gerry and I began to search the streets at six in
the morning when dawn began to break. We didn't find anything. I'm desperate".
These are the first words that Kate
wrote in her diary. This is the Portuguese translation of this diary, that is not included in the case, which Maddie's mother
began to write upon the suggestion of Philomena McCann, also following the advice of a psychologist.
Almost 140 pages
in which Kate addresses Maddie with sentences such as: "We have to keep looking, we have to find you, sweetheart. I love you
An essential document in the police's view in order to define Kate's profile as a mother. Analysed by police
psychologists, the different sentences of the diary show the facet of a caring and patient mother that contrast with other
notes that reflect what the officers define as Kate's other face: the mother, extremely exhausted by caring for three children
whom she daily takes to the Ocean Club crèche, before and after the disappearance.
A mother obsessed by her children's
sleep, noted in expressions such as these: "Sean slept with us for most of the night after half an hour of hysteria at 12.30".
Or on another page: "I tried to take Sean and Amelie to bed at 9.30, but it became very late again, especially with Amelie".
week later she notes in her diary: "Sean and Amelie's biological clocks have altered. They go to bed later and get up
later. They seem to have become Portuguese!" The investigators are surprised that Maddie's mother writes details such as these:
"Sean and Amelie in their beds (with blankets) after the confusion of the last seven days". Why this obsession with the time
and the way of getting the children to sleep? Why does Kate note the detail of the blankets? These are some of the investigators'
questions. Details from a diary which indicates Gordon Brown's phone calls and which also reflects other obsessions such as
the extreme concern to place the blame on Murat and what she describes as "sloppiness" not only on the part of the Portuguese
but also the British police whom she accuses of committing errors that eliminate some of the evidence of the investigation.
The diary's contents were never admitted as evidence.
Kate's Diary - In her own words, 14 September
Read Kate McCann's diary
For the first time, the heartbreaking truth that
destroys the lies of the Portuguese police
By Daniel Sanderson, 13/09/2008
TODAY we reveal the secret diary of agonised mum Kate McCann—penned
over months as she and husband Gerry struggled to deal with their daughter Madeleine’s abduction.
Her words destroy the litany of lies told by Portuguese
cops to paint them as cold and calculating. Kate wrote: "I can't bear being without Madeleine. It's like torture— a
slow painful death."
- FOR months the Portuguese police leaked carefully selected extracts from
Kate McCann's secret diary, chosen to deliberately paint her and husband Gerry as the ice couple—cold, dispassionate
and emotionless in the face of three-year-old Madeleine’s abduction.
- Now, for the first time, the News of the World can fill in the blanks and
nail those lies. The 135-page journal covering April 28, 2007 to Tuesday, July 31, was passed to us by a reporter in Portugal
appalled by the sickening smear campaign against the McCanns.
- Kate's log of the dark days after Madeleine vanished from their holiday
flat reveals the true picture of the tortured woman behind the calm, brave face she had to portray in public, as initial disbelief
and numbness gave way to desperation and rage. Often she includes touching messages of love to her missing daughter. It confirms
the strength Kate drew from her devout Catholic faith—and frankly admits the doubts the trauma forced her to face.
THE entry for the fateful day Madeleine McCann
vanished—May 3, 2007—makes chilling reading in her mother's diary, because it started out so NORMAL.
Mum-of-three Kate, 40, records that it began much like any other since the
family arrived at the Mark Warner Ocean Club in Praia da Luz on Portugal's Algarve coast—one long, happy round of swimming,
tennis, kids' club, games and fun.
But knowing what is about to befall them turns Kate's simple account of the
children's evening bedtime routine into a tense drama...
THURSDAY, MAY 3: Milk and biscuits for
the kids. I left them with this and books and games and went to have a quick shower/wash my hair. M (Madeleine) tired—sitting
on my lap—I read the story of Mog (favourite children's book).
Brush teeth. To the bedroom with the kids. M pulls away and puts her head
on pillow. Kisses goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as possible without shutting it. Silence.
Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine. Restaurant.
(During dinner nearby with friends —dubbed the Tapas 7—the group
took turns to check the children. At 10pm Kate discovers Madeleine gone. The McCanns and helpers frantically scour the area
FRIDAY, MAY 4: No sleep, Gerry and I started
looking through the streets around 06.00 as it was starting to get light. Nobody around. Why not? Desperate.
Minutes seem like hours. Outside of the apartments masses of people asking
questions about that night and for descriptions of Madeleine. Long day.
(Then Kate, Gerrry and their seven friends were taken to the Policia Judiciaria,
or PJ, headquarters in nearby Portimao to give statements.)
Nobody from the police introduced themselves. Nobody offered us a drink or
food. All the police dressed informally and smoking. No sympathy was shown and far from inspiring.
I believe my statement would have been around 15.00 and such. They allowed
G (Gerry) to come in with me but seated behind me. Translator present.
The police officer who took us by car to the station was the one asking the
questions and afterwards typed the answers on a typewriter. Morose.
We left the police station around 7.30pm to 8pm. After 15 minutes we received
a call from the PJ saying we had to go back but they didn't tell us why. We turned around and flew back at around 200 kilometres
an hour. Once again frightening. Did they find her? Please God. Is she dead? Prayers. We arrived—they showed us a photo
of a girl they'd forgotten to show us from the close circuit TV footage. Not M. Devastating.
SATURDAY, MAY 12: (Madeleine's birthday)
Madeleine is four years old. Day at resort with holiday group. Special Mass for Madeleine at 18.00 in Praia da Luz.
MONDAY, MAY 14: I slept well last night
after a not very good end of the day, frustration with the FLO (Portuguese police family liaison officer) asking me where
would my little M be.
I got up at 06.50. I dealt with some trifles and got myself ready for the
statement to the press at 08.00.
I tried to put on a slightly more presentable and "healthy" air. Gerry again
gave a great performance.
Following on we answered about four questions. I almost responded to the
first one asking how we were, but I didn't. I did answer a question on our possible return home. I replied that obviously
I didn't even think about that. Anyway, it seemed to have gone well. After breakfast and our having left S and A, (twins Sean
and Amelie, then aged two) we went to church to pray in silence. Very good, calming.
After getting back I decided to go running—for the first time since
THE day (already 11 days ago). I knew that it was going to be physically difficult, but I also knew that I wasn't going to
give up, because it was for Madeleine and also because the level of pain is far higher now.
No cameras or journalists, which was great. I went running towards the beach
and then along it and again climbed that hill so steep —without stopping! (I carried a photo of M in my hand to keep
me going.) On the last hill past the tennis courts my legs completely weak, but I managed to keep myself walking. I managed
to reach the apartment then time to stop—to think—I felt really quite calm.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 23: Gordon Brown (then Chancellor
and PM in waiting) called and spoke with Gerry -very kind and giving encouragement.
Feeling a bit emotional afterwards.
SATURDAY, MAY 26: We went to an amusement
park with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a very good day for either the two of us—some dark thoughts/ frustrations/
desperation creeping in. Some tears.
(Then in a moving little message to Madeleine) I love you so much XXX
SUNDAY, MAY 27: Clarence (Clarence Mitchell,
Foreign Office family liaison at the time) spoke to us about a possible trip to the Vatican. It seems that it really is going
to happen—main story on the news!
Spoke to Dad. I went for a walk to the beach with Sean and Amelie. Frozen.
Beach—slippery, wet feet.
We all had dinner when we got back to the apartment.
We have to keep looking. We have to find you beloved xxxxx.
(Kate signed off the day's entry by drawing a heart with "I LOVE MADELEINE"
WEDNESDAY, MAY 30: (After trip to see Pope
detailed above) The kids went to bed again around 9pm!!! Low point of tonight—becoming desperate/without hope because
of the lack of information. They are acting like they have no leads at all. Very worried.
Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since Madeleine was taken. Four weeks since we
saw our special little girl. We are not certain that we will ever see her again, but know that we have to keep up our hope
and strength—for the others, at least. Exhausted.
I love you so much, Madeleine. You must come back! X
FRIDAY, JUNE 1: Quite fed up...I can't
stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear of pain. How can I go on knowing that her life could have ended like this?
This week I have been quite overtaken by black thoughts. Please, God, bring
Bedtime is becoming more and more of a challenge.
SATURDAY, JUNE 2: I can't remember today
(which is now yesterday!). The morning was spent doing paperwork. I wrote a letter to JK Rowling, asking for her help in keeping
M in the public eye. She has a new Harry Potter book which will come out in July. I asked if it would be possible to do something
like a bookmark with M on.
An enjoyable afternoon—I never felt so relaxed. I felt it was wrong.
S and A had fun and that was important. I also worried about what people might think, like "How can they manage to...?"
It seems that Sean is liking the beach more these days. We had tea in a nearby
restaurant—good, despite still thinking that I had to do normal things without feeling guilty. We left around 7.30pm
and the kids were completely exhausted.
Fed up again —poor M. Once again it took a long time before S and A
were sorted. Finally went to church for 10 minutes.
Private worship (despairing!).
Cried again in bed—I can't avoid it. I need her close to me. Thinking
about her fear of pain breaks my heart. Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to tear at my own skin. Of course these people,
like psychopaths, aren't "normal" human beings. I was never in favour of the death penalty, but these people should be kept
in a secure place. I wouldn't even complain if it was in nice surroundings, but, certainly in the case of paedophiles always
distanced from any type of contact with children.
Whose human rights are more important? Those of a paedophile or of a vulnerable,
TUESDAY, JUNE 5: Woke up relatively late
again, around 7.30am, with a good morning wake-up call from S and A. Adorable!! I just wish it had been all three of them
that came into the room. After a shower and breakfast, I took S and A to the Kids' Club. I asked if they could make birthday
cards for their Grandma and Gerry—today is his birthday but I had forgotten which is not surprising!
THURSDAY, JUNE 7: The Press conference
went well. People are always asking how we are managing to cope, how we can manage to run a campaign, as if we are strange
because we are able to appear calm and controlled and aren't going under all the time. They know so little. Nobody should
judge or criticise because, unless they have already been in this situation, they have NO IDEA how they would be and certainly
NO IDEA how painful it is. NO IDEA AT ALL. I love you so much Madeleine xxxx
I can't bear this. I can't bear being without Madeleine. It's like torture—a
slow, painful death. I hope her suffering, if she is suffering, is much less. Please God.
SUNDAY, JUNE 17: Cherie Blair (then the
Premier's wife) phoned to find out how we were.
We talked about everything in general, including about them leaving Number
10. She agreed as well to make a 20-second video clip for our broadcast on YouTube about Madeleine and children who have disappeared.
I also had the chance to speak to Tony (then Prime Minister) who told me
that we weren't to hesitate to ask him if there was something he could do to help.
On Sky News tonight they suddenly said the Portuguese police had stated that
the crime scene had been contaminated—because of us—and that fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they
insinuate that our daughter's life could be put in danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.
I want to speak to someone now, but it's too late.
I changed my mind and I sent a text message to Ricardo (Portuguese police
family liaison officer). I don't know if was a sensible idea but I feel really annoyed.
My darling little Madeleine, you know that we wouldn't do anything to put
you in danger.
I love you very much and I am in agony right now.
I only have to hope that God helps us all now and that he brings you back
to us, safe and sound, very soon.
I need you to come back Madeleine. You are the best thing in my life that
has ever happened to me. XXXXX
I ended up feeling very upset. Everything overflowed. Terrified that we might
not get Madeleine back. I simply cannot face that. Tears, despair, rage, helplessness. I spoke to Gerry, recited prayers.
Please God, bring her back XX
I fell asleep after 1am.
MONDAY, JUNE 18: I spent a few lovely hours
with Sean and Amelie building a sandcastle with a moat, getting big hugs from Sean, ice creams.
Shower, lovely meal and a little playtime with the kids.
(But as night closes in Kate's anguish returns.)
I can't stand living like this. It's so painful and distressing. Dear Lord,
PLEASE answer our prayers. PLEASE send Madeleine back to us. PLEASE.
I love you so, so much Madeleine, more than anything XXXXX.
TUESDAY, JUNE 19: Last night I didn't manage
to get to sleep until around 1am because I was so upset again. It's so painful to be without Madeleine and I can't stand to
think that it could be like this forever. This simply cannot happen.
Good night, good night Madeleine, I'm longing to read you a bedtime story
again. I love you my little darling X.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20: There is still no sign
of Madeleine. I didn't feel like it so I decided not to go running.
Went to pick up Gerry from the airport. It was so good to see him. Just before
we reached the apartment we saw a man lying in the middle of the street, so we stopped the car and got out. It was no surprise
to see that he was drunk (we've all been there!) but he recognised Gerry and me immediately. Gerry walked him round to his
THURSDAY, JUNE 21: I went to the church
around 9.20pm to pray a bit by myself, in peace. I got a bit annoyed, I don't understand why God doesn't answer my prayers.
I think I need a sign of some sort. I miss her so much. It is so painful and I don't feel my life is complete and I won't
ever feel it is complete, if she doesn't come home. Gerry came down later on to be with me.
Apart from a glass of wine, chocolate and this diary, there's nothing much
else to tell.
I LOVE YOU MADELEINE. GOOD NIGHT GOOD NIGHT X X X.
FRIDAY, JUNE 22: I miss Madeleine loads
and that's a real understatement. Sometimes I think I must have done something so bad. (Then Kate recalls the IVF treatment
she needed to get pregnant) It was so difficult and painful 'trying' to have Madeleine and now this!!!
Why??? Bad luck??? A sick joke??? And then I think I don't want to think
about me—I'm an adult, but Madeleine, dear, sweet, vulnerable, beautiful Madeleine... and I just feel like screaming.
Dear Lord, I continue to ask, continue to hope, continue to try to have faith
in You. Please help us. Put an end to this nightmare. Please help Madeleine. PLEASE LORD.
I love you with all my heart. You are part of my being and I will never feel whole without you. I hope and pray for the day,
hopefully soon, when we will be reunited and together again FOREVER. I miss you so much. I need you. I love you. XXXXXXXXXXX
JUNE 23: I woke up after 7am hesitating
(again!) about going running but eventually I built up enough enthusiasm to convince Gerry that we should go. He ran quite
well and without a doubt it was worth us going.
Will we see her again one day? How can this end well now? She’s
so precious. God I need you to do something soon. I’m so desperate and suffering so much.
This evening I felt quite low again. It's the awful uncertainty,
helplessness and worry. It’s really unbearable. I only want to be able to hide or hibernate until this is all over and
Madeleine is back. Please make sure she’s OK.
The usual—dinner, a few drinks and emails. Good night. Good
night my darling, longing to lie down...
JUNE 24: Oh, Madeleine, I find the
nights so difficult and only God knows how things are going to find you. I just want to say, once again, that you have been
the most special and amazing thing that ever happened to me.
I've never felt such love for another person. I hope and I trust
that God and Mary are protecting you and I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful family and friends will continue
to search for you, and we all long for the day when you will be back with us again— FOREVER! XX
Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX
JUNE 26: I went for a short walk
to the shops nearby. I had heard that there was a paedophile there. Nice, isn't it?
If people informed us about these criminals of course we’d
be more cautious and we'd feel safer!
Unfortunately I read two books of messages that had been delivered...
There were three horrible ones. One from a former Met Police officer—very insensitive/ cruel and far from constructive!
Another said "R.I.P. Maddie"—how appalling!
Well, not surprisingly I was very upset and I went out to the
rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and spoke to Madeleine and to God. I was still not ready to go but Gerry was calling me.
The police had arrived, as planned, at the apartment. I calmed down and went to the meeting with the police. Everything seems
to be so slow. We finished at around 7pm so I went to be with the kids and tell them bedtime stories. I had dinner, had a
few drinks despite having said I wanted it without alcohol!! We talked some more.
My darling Madeleine, I feel such fear and dread when I think
of you. Every day and every night, it is TOO MUCH. I can only have hope and trust in God and Mary to look after you and bring
you back to us soon.
I’m so sorry if I/we let you down. I hope you know how fond
of you we are and that we would NEVER do anything intentionally that would put you in danger—of any kind. You are so
precious to me. You make me so happy and I miss you so much. Please God, please Mary, keep watch over our sweet Madeleine.
Keep her safe and sound and bring her back to us soon! X X
JULY 2: (The day the McCanns had
to move from the Ocean Club apartment to a rented house.)
I started to put everything in the suitcases and then I took S
and A to the Kids' Club around 09.20 and then I came back to pack the cases. We moved everything to the house around 10:30.
Although now I think that it is a good thing to move to the house—with a bit more privacy—everything feels wrong
and painful without Madeleine. I cannot believe that this has happened. She is so loving and I desperately want her back.
Sean and Amelie appeared very excited about the "new house" especially with regard to their room. After lunch on the terrace,
Gerry filled the Jacuzzi with cold water and the children enjoyed themselves immensely in their "swimming pool". I went to
look for Chinese food for 4.
Oh dear Madeleine, where are you? Are you nearby? Please keep
well and be strong, my little one. We are desperate to find you. We love you very much. You are so special. I long to give
you the biggest hug in the WORLD!! I miss you so much. I love you so much my dear Madeleine.
JULY 5: I got up at 7.15. Gerry went
for a run.
or will be as good again without Madeleine.
I am thinking about you a lot, dearest Madeleine, and praying
a lot so that we find you soon—alive and unharmed.
Stay strong—you know that we all love you very very very
JULY 6: (The day a man was arrested
in Holland for a cruel hoax intended to extort £1.3million from the McCanns in return for details of the kidnappers and Madeleine’s
location.) I wrote my emails and finished our statement for when the story broke about the Dutch man’s extortion near
He’s 39, unemployed, says that he was bored and wanted to
play with our emotions. Bastard. David Miliband (the new Foreign Secretary) phoned Gerry to offer support.
JULY 7: We had breakfast and got
the children ready as usual. At 10.30 the four of us went to the Algarve Shopping Centre.
plan was to buy sandals and some other things for the children. However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop three times
on the way there, since Sean and Amelie were crying alternately.
I began to feel that it had been a wasted day, even though
Sean and Amelie had some good goes in Noddy's car and Popeye's boat. The return journey was slightly more bearable.
I had a "moment" while we were having lunch. I saw a woman who looked pregnant and I began
to think about when I was pregnant with Sean and Amelie. And then it hit me. (Kate then remembers a touching scene from the
past.) Madeleine was coming to visit us later that evening, the look of wonder on her face, and afterwards she got in beside
me in bed. She was and is so adorable—a real jewel, a real gift. And I painfully miss her.
At around 18.00 went to church. It was good... there was nobody else there. Later Gerry
turned up and joined me and we went down as far as the rocks on the beach and talked a little about Madeleine. But I began
to feel slightly pessimistic and fearful. Please, my God, prove to us that we are not wrong. But I was feeling worse. Please,
my God, let this have a happy ending.
I have been thinking a lot about you today, Madeleine. I am so worried and frightened
for you. I can only hope that God has you in his hands and brings you back to us soon. Please, my God, help us, help Madeleine.
We love her and we need her so much, and she loves us and needs us. Please, please, please
make it so that we have some good news soon. Good night darling. I love you. (I can hardly wait to say "See you tomorrow.")
THURSDAY, JULY 12: I hate the person who took my Madeleine—the same one who has caused all this trouble,
who made us feel worthless and mistrustful and mainly who has frightened my beautiful Madeleine. I will never forgive that
person/those people for this. Never.
Today I washed the Cuddle Cat (Madeleine's favourite soft toy and a constant
comfort to heartbroken Kate). I was hoping not to have to do it until Madeleine returns, but it was now quite dirty and smelly,
unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it. XX
TUESDAY, JULY 17: Finding it very difficult to talk to people from home, unless they are directly involved. It is difficult
to show an interest in other people's lives and children at the moment. I know it sounds horrible, selfish and egocentric,
but at the moment I can only think about Madeleine. I don't want to hear about anyone having babies or getting pregnant (mainly
because it was all so very difficult for us). I'm worried about turning into a bitter, angry woman, that would be horrible.
Please God bring Madeleine back and let this nightmare end.
Please don't let our lives be destroyed by this. Please don't let them hurt Madeleine.
Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at photos of Madeleine and she said:
"I miss my sister. Where's my sister?"
I couldn't believe it. I didn't realise Amelie's vocabulary and use of words was so good.
I just said: "I miss her too. We'll find her soon." What a little sweetheart!
She then turned her attention to something else.
We took turns jumping into the water with the kids, which was great fun. After a DVD and
a story it was the twins' bedtime which didn't take too long tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.
Keep strong, be patient, we'll keep on going till we find you. I love you so much. We
hope and pray we'll see you soon.
Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 18: It was suggested that Madeleine is dead and buried in an area close to the beach, behind
What can I say? I feel my body's on the verge of collapse. How much pain and
emotion can one body take? I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried, desperate, extremely on edge. I don't think I can take
any more of this, I really can't. How much longer will this suffering go on? I need Madeleine ALIVE.
SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It's as if a ray of light has disappeared
from my life. There's no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.
We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked
with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain?
My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord? My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine.
I just hate being without you.
(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)
If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were
so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read
"Mog" in the living area and then "if you're happy and you know it". We all sat down on your bed.
Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages...always
laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love
you so much. XXXXXXX
MONDAY, JULY 23: I got up at 7.00 and went running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or less 12)—it really
wasn't a nice experience. I went to the flat, high part of the cliff as I felt really alone and a little frightened. Please
God, don't let Madeleine be buried here. Please God, make sure she's alive. Please God, bring her back quickly to us.
I took S and A to the Kids' Club at 9.45 then I went to church to pray a little
on my own.
Every single moment of happiness with Sean and Amelie, who are both so delightful, is
mixed with deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and happy again.
Baths, stories and some bedtime chaos from Sean and Amelie before I finally put them to
bed at 21.15.
I spent some time on the internet reading about Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart
(Brian Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside). Really horrible.
Night, night sweetheart. I'm trying to be positive. I need to be because I need to believe
that you’re going to come back to me, so I can go back to being truly happy. I love you XXX.
TUESDAY, JULY 24: Sean and Amelie had lots of fun in the Jacuzzi—laughter galore! Carrot sticks and crisps were
had by all at teatime.
Oh, darling Madeleine. It pains me to think of you—it causes me such sorrow
and I have no idea how you feel. I pray to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I pray that God keeps you safe and
sound and that you're not afraid, nor in pain.
Please God, answer my prayers and please, please,
please bring Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own happiness. Please God.
Madeleine, sweetheart, I love you so much. I can’t
stop saying it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and having faith in God. XXXXXXX.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 25:
I received some bad news last night. A friend has breast cancer and has just received her first dose of chemotherapy following
surgery. Horrible. I will include her in my prayers.
At around 15.30 I went for a run. I had begun to
feel restless and worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work, but I felt better for having gone.
We returned at around 18.15—the children's
dinner and baths, our dinner.
(and the children's once again!).
Madeleine, sweetheart, you are the most important
thing, the only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone, sad and
incomplete I feel.
I will continue to hope and pray that you come back
to us soon but I don't want to think about how good it would be to feel something like that—not yet, at least.
I love you so, so much darling. I remember sitting
watching you through the glass window when you were having your swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you were with
your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears rolled down my face!
I was and am still so proud of you, Madeleine, and
my love for you is never-ending. I can’t stop saying how much I love you dearly. I'm going to try and stay strong for
you and you have to do the same. You know we love you and we are going to keep going until we find you again.
All my love, Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well.
May God protect you. XXXXX.
SATURDAY, JULY 28: I got up at 7.30 after a late and disturbed night of sleep.
At around 16.20 we had a dip in the Jacuzzi. Sean
and Amelie loved it. After tea I went to the small church. I was a little tearful.
It's really hard for me not to worry about the small
things. I wonder does anyone brush her teeth? She looks so happy in that photo taken on that last day.
I know I'm repeating myself but I can't stop myself
from saying how much I love you, Madeleine. I'll say it as many times as I need to. You're so, so special. XXXXX.
TUESDAY, JULY 31: (The day before police seized the diary) I got up early after
another late and very disturbed night.
I dropped by the church. I feel better after these
I cooked my first meal (since they took Madeleine!!)
for dinner tonight.
Please God—make me right. Please God—protect
her. Please God—bring her back to us soon!
Night, night Madeleine, by dearest little angel.
My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I'm going to dream
that I'm lying by your side—moments I'll always cherish and I long to have again.
Sweet dreams my little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.
Pope was so gentle and so sincere
DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope
at the Vatican on May 30.
May 28 she wrote: "I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and to return
to our normal life."
Two days later her diary recalls: "Pope Benedict
XVI arrived in his "pope mobile" waving to everyone. It immediately became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of our
hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.
"I thanked him for having allowed us to be there
with him. He said he would pray for us and that he would continue to pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave him
the photo of Madeleine—he blessed it (with the thumb)—something that we would be able to keep for ever. A shy
man but very friendly.
"Very emotional, very positive, very important—charming.
"Please, God, bring back to us little Madeleine.
We love her so much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us to be united once again shortly as a family.
"Later on, Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison)
told me that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly had flown above and had landed on the bow on my hair.
"Following on, it left, but it came back and landed
on my lapel. An omen, we hope."
Who is 'Amanda' in Kate's diary?
Who is 'Amanda' in Kate's diary?
Amanda would appear to be a friend of Kate's from the Rothley area, referenced in The Independent
article of 10 September 2007:
'At the McCanns' house, there were friends on hand to help them pass what must already seem like endless hours and deal
with the enormity of what they have experienced. "It's just good to have them back," said one friend, Amanda. "We're going
to rally round as much as we can, and whatever Kate and Gerry need, we'll be there for them."'
Kate McCann's secret diary: 'How can I go
on knowing Madeleine's life could have ended like this?', 14 September 2008
Kate McCann's secret diary: 'How can I
go on knowing Madeleine's life could have ended like this?' Daily Mail
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
Last updated at 1:38 PM on 14th September 2008
Kate McCann's deepest thoughts have been laid bare in a private journal documenting
her darkest days following the disappearance of daughter Madeleine.
Bleak thoughts of paedophiles, frustration at the Portuguese police and the daily struggle
to keep the rest of her family together are just some of the frank and painful admissions, penned between April and July 2007.
The secret diary reveals for the first time the depth of personal despair and heartbreak
faced by Kate and Gerry - and the strength their Catholic faith has given them.
At the height of the smear campaign against the McCanns, Portuguese investigators made
extracts from Kate's diary public, deliberately selected in a bid to portray the couple as cold and dispassionate.
However, the full context of the journal has now been revealed in the News of the World.
The diary starts while Madeleine is still with the family, detailing the ordinary routine
of family life.
On the day Madeliene disappeared the diary entry documents the children's bedtime at
the apartment in the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz - where the family were staying during their holiday.
Kate reveals how she gave her children milk and biscuits before reading Madeleine a
It goes on to say: 'Kisses goodnight for M (Madeleine). Pulled the door to as far as
possible without shutting it. Silence. Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine. Restaurant.'
Kate and Gerry then left the children alone and asleep to dine with friends. Just hours
later Madeleine was gone, believed to have been snatched from the apartment.
On May 4 - the day after Madeleine's disappearance - Kate documents the couple's first
visit to the police station, after a frantic night of searching.
She says: 'Nobody from the police introduced themselves. Nobody offered us a drink
or food. All the police dressed informally and smoking. No sympathy was shown and far from inspiring.'
In the days after Madeleine's disappearance, Kate talks of the couple's desperation
and the struggle to remain strong for their two other children, twins Sean and Amelie.
She also reveals how the couple put on a 'presentable and healthy' air when facing
the press - and how the family marked Madeleine's fourth birthday on May 12 with a special mass at a church in Praia da Luz.
However on May 30, after nearly four weeks since their daughter went missing, Kate's
inner turmoil threatens to overwhelm her.
She says: 'Tomorrow it will be four weeks since Madeleine was taken. Four weeks since
we saw our special little girl. We are not certain we will ever see her again, but know that we have to keep up our hope and
strength - for the others, at least. Exhausted. I love you so much Madeleine. You must come back.'
Just two days later, her thoughts become darker.
On June 1 she writes: 'Can't stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear and pain.
'How can I go on knowing that her life could have ended like this? This week I have
been quite overtaken by black thoughts.
'Please God, bring her back.'
The month of June documents the McCanns' attempts to retain some element of normal
life for the sake of Sean and Amelie.
They go for the occasional jog, spend time playing with the twins - but Madeleine is
constantly in their thoughts.
Any feeling of joy - however small - is tinged with guilt and regret that Madeleine
is not there to share in it too.
'How can this end well now?'
Kate reveals how she wrote to JK Rowling for help in keeping Madeleine's plight in
the public eye and how thoughts of paedophiles made her want to 'tear at my own skin'.
She tells how both Gordon Brown and Tony Blair - along with wife Cherie - phoned the
couple to offer their support.
This was also around the time that the McCanns were subjected to the beginnings of
a smear campaign by the Portuguese police, who claimed fundamental evidence had been lost because the crime scene had
been contaminated by the McCanns themselves.
Throughout the diary, the depth of the McCann's Catholic faith is evident and shows
how it has given them strength.
Entries are littered with pleas to God and detailing their frequent visits to mass.
Kate also reflects on the difficulties she had in conceiving Madeleine, recalling the
Her entries are scattered with signs that the couple are losing hope.
On June 23 she writes: 'Will we ever see her again? How can this end well now? She's
so precious. God, I need you to do something soon. I'm so desperate and suffering so much.'
During that month Kate talks of how she received two books of messages from the public.
While the majority of the messages were supportive she was shocked by three horrible
messages - one which simply said 'RIP Madeleine' and another which was written by a former police officer.
As time goes on the diary becomes less about documenting the couple's struggle and
more of a tool to communicate with her daughter.
More and more messages to Madeleine appear in the entries and Kate also talks of her
difficulties maintaining relationships with friends from home, with the exception of those directly involved in the case.
'Today I washed Cuddle Cat. I was hoping not to do until
On July 12 Kate reveals her deep hatred for the person who took Madeleine and the significant
moment she had to wash the youngster's favourite toy, Cuddle Cat, which still had on it the faint scent of her daughter.
She said: 'I hate the person who took my Madeleine - the same one who has caused all
this trouble, who made us feel worthless and mistrustful and mainly who has frightened my beautiful Madeleine. I will never
forgive that person/those people for this. Never.
'Today I washed Cuddle Cat. I was hoping not to do it until Madeleine returns, but
it was now quite quite dirty and smelly, unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it.'
That month the couple are also faced with the harsh reality that their daughter might
be dead when it is suggested that Madeleine is buried by a cliff.
Kate continues to document the torment of losing Madeleine while trying to keep a normal
family life for Sean and Amelie.
In her last entry on July 31 before her diary was seized by the Portuguese police she
said: 'My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than anything. I'm going to dream that I'm lying
by your side - moments I'll always cherish and I long to have again.'
Rewrite of above article:
My sweetheart, my darling...Kate
McCann's secret Madeleine diary revealed Daily Mail
By TOM KELLY
at 12:32 AM on 15th September 2008
McCann's secret diary recording her private hell as she struggled to cope with her
daughter's disappearance was revealed yesterday.
The journal describes how she was overwhelmed
by 'black thoughts' as she contemplated Madeleine's ordeal and her anger at those who judged her 'calm and controlled' behaviour
at press conferences.
In one entry, the depths of her anguish
are laid bare as she addresses her missing daughter: 'My sweetheart, my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more than
'I'm going to dream that I'm lying by your
side - moments I'll always cherish and I long to have again.'
The 40-year-old GP also attacks the Portuguese
police as 'morose' and outlines her frustration at their uninspiring hunt for the three-year-old less than 24 hours after
Mrs McCann started the 135-page journal
a few days before Madeleine went missing from the apartment in the Algarve resort of Praia da Luz where the family were holidaying.
A copy of the journal was later seized
by Portuguese police and selected extracts leaked to the local media in an apparent attempt to depict Mrs McCann as cold and
But on Sunday, the diary was published
in full after a Portuguese journalist, angry at the alleged smear campaign, handed a copy to The News of the World.
In it, Mrs McCann gives a detailed account
of putting Madeleine to bed on May 3 last year, before heading out to dinner with her husband and a group of friends.
She wrote: 'Brush teeth. To the bedroom
with the kids.
'M pulls away and puts her head on pillow.
Kisses goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as possible without shutting it.
'Silence. Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass
of wine. Restaurant.'
She later describes the frantic hunt for
her daughter after discovering Madeleine had vanished as they ate.
'No sleep, Gerry and I started looking
through the streets around 06.00 as it was starting to get light. Nobody around. Why not? Desperate.
'Minutes seem like hours. Outside of the
apartments masses of people asking questions about that night and for descriptions of Madeleine.
Mrs McCann also describes the scene later
that day when they were taken to the police station in nearby Portimao to give statements.
She wrote: 'Nobody from the police introduced
Nobody offered us a drink or food. No sympathy
was shown and far from inspiring.
'The police officer who took us by car
to the station was the one asking the questions and afterwards typed the answers on a typewriter. Morose.'
Mrs McCann also records her anger at the
constant questions about how she managed to appear so 'calm and controlled' during appeals.
She wrote: 'They know so little.
'Nobody should judge or criticise because,
unless they have already been in this situation, they have NO IDEA how they would be and certainly NO IDEA how painful it
is. NO IDEA AT ALL.'
And she tells of her private agony over
her daughter's ordeal, noting on June 1: 'Can't stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear and pain.
'How can I go on knowing that her life
could have ended like this? This week I have been quite overtaken by black thoughts.'
She also reveals why she took the agonising
decision to wash her daughter's toy Cuddle Cat: 'Today I washed Cuddle Cat. I was hoping not to do it until Madeleine returns,
but it was quite dirty and smelly, but unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine on it.'
A month after her daughter's disappearance,
she describes how thinking about paedophiles 'makes me want to tear at my own skin'.
She adds: 'I was never in favour of the
death penalty, but these people should be kept in a secure place.
'Whose human rights are more important?
Those of a paedophile or of a vulnerable, defenceless child?'
Kate's diary was written 'in an A4 pad', 15
Madeleine McCann: Kate McCann's diary reveals anguish of losing her
The diary of Kate McCann has laid bare for the first time her inner despair
at Madeleine going missing in Portugal.
By Richard Edwards, Crime Reporter
Last Updated: 10:03PM BST 14 Sep 2008
entries reveal frustration at the Portuguese police from the very start of their investigation, her darkest thoughts and fears,
and her daily, desperate pleas to God for her prayers to be answered.
At the height of the smear campaign against the McCanns, Portuguese investigators made extracts from the
diary public, deliberately selected in a bid to portray the couple as cold and dispassionate.
The full context of the journal, however, written in an A4 pad, have been revealed in a tabloid newspaper
after being leaked by a Portuguese reporter.
On the night of May 3 when Madeleine went missing from their apartment in Praia da Luz, and early the
following morning, Kate suggests that no police were helping in the search.
The diary says: "No sleep, Gerry and I started looking through the streets at 6am as it was starting to
get light. Nobody around. Why not? Desperate."
She said that when she finally talked to detectives they were unsympathetic and "far from inspiring".
Kate signs every entry off with a personal message of her love for Madeleine, but admits that with each
night it became harder to go to bed without her.
On June 1 she writes: "Can't stop thinking about Madeleine, about her fear and pain.
"How can I go on knowing that her life could have ended like this? This week I have been quite overtaken
by black thoughts. Please God, bring her back."
The next day she writes: "Cried in bed - I can't avoid it. I need her close to me. Thinking about her
fear of pain breaks my heart.
"Thinking about paedophiles makes me want to tear at my own skin."
The diary also reveals how she wrote to JK Rowling for help in keeping Madeleine's plight in the public
eye and that Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, his wife Cherie and David Miliband phoned the couple to offer their support.
It was written between April and July 2007, before police seized it as their investigation turned on the
Kate McCann furious at publication of diary in Sunday tabloid,
19 September 2008
Kate McCann furious at publication of diary in Sunday tabloid Daily Mirror
By Rod Chaytor
Kate McCann was last night said to be devastated by the unauthorised publication of her diary in a downmarket Sunday
Her diary was seized and photocopied by Portuguese police three months after daughter Madeleine, then three, vanished.
Extracts appeared in the paper without Kate or hubby Gerry's prior knowledge or permission last weekend. A pal said last
night: "Kate is angry and upset.
"She is furious her innermost feelings have been revealed. Worse still, it looks as if she has consented."
Because of its sensitive nature, the material was not included in 19 files made public by prosecutors.
The friend added: "The suspicion is these diaries have been leaked by someone in the Portuguese authorities."
Lawyers for the McCanns are thought to be demanding an apology and payout for the Find Madeleine fund. The McCanns will
Kate McCann: An apology, 19 September 2008
Published: 19 Sep 2008
THE article headed "Kate's Secret Diary Revealed" which we ran this week stated that Kate
McCann had released entries from her diary to the News of the World. This is incorrect.
The extracts from Kate's diary were published by the News of the World in the mistaken, albeit bona fide, belief that
they had her permission to do so whereas Kate neither approved of nor knew that the extracts were to be published.
We sincerely apologise to Kate for our error and for the distress caused by it.
Kate McCann apology, 20 September 2008
Last week we published extracts from Kate McCann's diaries and explained in the article that
we were doing so to "nail the lies" about Kate created by selective leaking from the diaries by Portuguese police.
We published the extracts in the belief held in good faith that we had Kate's permission to do so. It is now clear that
our belief was misplaced, and that in fact Kate neither approved of nor knew that the extracts were to be published.
Upon learning of our error we immediately removed the extracts from our website and we today offer Kate our immediate
and sincere apologies. We have agreed to make a donation to be used in the search for Madeleine. The News of the World remains
wholly supportive of the McCanns and their continuing campaign to find their daughter.
Paper's Apology over Kate's Diary, 21 September 2008
Paper's Apology over Kate's Diary Sky News
11:16am UK, Sunday September 21, 2008
The News of the World has apologised to Kate McCann for publishing extracts of her diary
without her permission.
The Sunday tabloid also said it had made a donation to the fund set up to find her missing daughter.
Last week's edition devoted the lead story and four other pages to revealing the 40-year-old's "black thoughts" and her
dreams of lying beside Madeleine again.
Extracts were printed after the diary was seized and then leaked by Portuguese detectives investigating the three-year-old's
disappearance in Praia da Luz on May 3 last year.
The paper's six-paragraph apology, on the second page of this week's edition, says: "We published the extracts in the
belief held in good faith that we had Kate's permission to do so.
"It is now clear that our belief was misplaced, and that, in fact, Kate neither approved of nor knew the extracts were
to be published.
"Upon learning of our error we immediately removed the extracts from our website and we today offer Kate our immediate
and sincere apologies."
The tabloid's sister paper, The Sun, also published an apology for the "error and for the distress caused by it".
A spokesman for the McCanns was unavailable for comment when contacted by Sky News Online.
The size of the donation to the Find Madeleine fund is not known, but it is not the first time a newspaper has apologised
to the little girl's parents.
The McCanns won a £550,000 libel settlement and apology from Express Newspapers for suggesting they were responsible
for Madeleine's death.
The Daily Express and Daily Star both carried front-page apologies, with the headline: "Kate and Gerry McCann: Sorry."
By Duarte Levy
04 May 2009
Translated by Nigel Moore, with thanks to Astro
Kate's "Diary" is one of the most curious pieces of a puzzle that the men of the Policia Judiciária tried to reconstruct
in order to establish the facts surrounding the disappearance of Madeleine. The report of the first days spent in Praia da
Luz was written after the event and reports a kind of "agenda" detailing what the McCanns and their friends allegedly did.
Two years later, day by day, it is interesting to compare Kate's report with what is known in the process. An exercise
that reveals contradictions and surprises in its content.
Arrival O.C. 15:00
Swim with M
Meeting with M.W. officials and have a drink
Rest. Millennium with kids (only night) (Note: 'Rest.' = Restaurant)
Return walk - difficult for kids
Bed Bath →
Breakfast Millennium Restaurant
? pruning of hedge
Morning Kids Club
10:00 morning talking over coffee, I went along to tennis
Lunch sandwiches →
→ F balcony and Dave
Kids Club afternoon
Seated in deck-chairs F A A
K and G run - Beach 16:00
Rest.: No Matt
Breakfast apartment? apartment cleaning
Tennis 09.15-10.15 K
*? washing machine / blinds
Lunch - our apartment then → balcony F and Dave
Kids club?? beach
+ / - 16.00 K run 25 min.
16:30 Tennis lessons
18:30? tennis night for women
Afternoon: K and J Supermarket
Rest. - everyone
Tuesday 01.05.2007 (holiday)
Kids club - mini-tennis ↓
09.15-10.15 K ↓
G 10.15-11.15 ↓
Madeleine and Ella
* Get camera
Lunch → apartment
Kids club beach, sunglasses
13:30 → 15:00 ish
Kids club? 15.15
? time not so good
? G tennis lessons - ok
High tea 16:30
? recreational area
Restaurant? object tennis
No Russell, Evie felt ill
(5D) Russ remained in apartment
Food was brought up
Wednesday - 02.05.2007
Breakfast apartment? apartment cleaning
Tennis → postponed wet courts
→ Millennium K and G - meet F, D and D
+ / - 11.30 Kate run with Matt
+ / - 40 min.
Lunch - apartment, recreational area
G Tennis 14.30-15.30
K 15.30-16.30 tennis? tennis lesson
? G Tennis lessons 16:30
? object tennis
High tea → recreational area
Rest. - No Rachael (5B)
Apartment next door
- Slightly later bedtime? 24.00
→ to bar after dinner
Thursday 03.05.2007 - The day of the disappearance
Breakfast - Apartment
Comment Madeleine "Where were you (was I) when me and S cried?"
Kids club, time - check registration
09.00-09.30 → 12:30
Wash M top of pyjamas - big stain
Lunch? apartment? tea
Tennis lesson 09.15-10.15
conversation on the grass w / Russell and Nigel (the video camera)
[?] Minutes of tennis
? get Madeleine
J and Fiona (Scarlett)
Then pick up S and A
(? Meeting there with G)
Breakfast - apartment -? balcony
? recreational area - ok
Afternoon / Kids club - a bit later
K Ella already there
Swimming - indoors pool
K and G - practice tennis then lesson and coach Dan
15.30 - 16.30
Julian appeared - continued to play with Gerry
I went to run → beach
(rest of the group on the beach)
Gerry went to meet the kids for high tea at Tapas. I joined them after running.
+ / - 17.20-17.30
[Strikethrough text illegible]
M very tired and quiet
Since Ella was taken from the KC → beach. I was a little worried that she was sad to have been alone. (Not realised
that the group had gone to the beach.)
She said she was fine.
She asked me to pick her up and said she was tired.
I picked her up and carried her to the apartment with G and S and A
Prepared bath as kids tired and men's tennis night at 18.00.
I considered returning to the recreation area with the kids but decided to stay in the apartment after bath and hair
G men's tennis night
Biscuits and milk for the kids - left them with this and books and games and went to take a quick bath / wash my hair.
I got out of the bath and David was knocking on the patio doors.
I wrapped myself in a towel and went into the living room.
He asked if we wanted to go to the recreational area, since he could help me take the kids.
Refused - since kids ready for bed.
I dressed myself.
Ate some snacks with the kids
M tired - sitting on my lap - read story of MOG
To bedroom with kids
G there too - I think.
[Children's music] - M telling story
M removes and lowers head on pillow
S + A good-night kisses for M
From S and A → cots x2
K gave a good-night kiss to M
Leaned the door as much as possible without closing it.
? dry hair
Glass of wine
20:35 → rest. First to arrive
21:00 → G, Conversation with Steve
21:30 → Matt, Carolyn (Note: Carolyn is a witness who says she heard someone calling Madeleine's name, around
21:30, as she walked back to her apartment)
22:00 → Myself, 20:40 Jane next
20:45 Matt and Rachael
Evie feeling sick
R went for a long time
Jane replaced him
[Three pages with drawings]
Undated, at the Hilton in Berlin
Scared wants to return
Fears for her fear
Reality suddenly binds
Never loved anyone this much (Note: this is written in the third person, as in 'he/she never loved anyone this
Never again able to be completely happy / enjoy something. I'm sorry to be asking some of these questions, but I am sure
you will understand that our despair, particularly given the lack of information and resulting helplessness, may be somewhat
mitigated if it gains some trust.
1. The following people were heard?
(I) teachers and all other officers of the school across the street from our apartment;
(II) all staff working in the Ocean Club Tapas bar / restaurant;
(III) [text cut]
the "reward"? (That was offered without our knowledge!)
5. How is the information from countries other than Portugal and the United Kingdom being processed? Is it being handled
by local police forces in their countries of origin and then passed on to you? Is there a "route" for this information?
6. Was significant data collected by experts in mobile phone communications?
- School - ok
- Tapas restaurant - ok
- Child maintenance - ok
- Yvonne Warren - not that I know of
2. Rbt Murat? evidence? forensic results
why still under strong suspicion if forensic results were negative
3. Info relative to Madeleine? no
4. Reward - OK
5. Route for information from other countries?
(Translation [from English original to Portuguese] the responsibility of the 'Area of Documentation and Translation'
of the Policia Judiciária)
to Nigel at